Tuesday, December 25, 2007

I suck

So, just like I said would eventually happen, I haven't updated this thing for a month and a half. Hell, I didn't even update it for the Gopher series. I am an incredibly lazy person.

UND has totally sucked all year. Because of this I'm beginning to think I should cheer for another team. Not having one freaking entry in almost two months has given me plenty of time to think about what other team I could cheer for, but ultimately wouldn't for various reason not the least of which is that I don't want to have to buy a bunch more jerseys. Actually, I do want to buy a bunch more jerseys, but it's a good easy excuse.

I could go with Michigan Tech, but then MeanEgirl would yell at me because Tech would lose even more than they usually do since I'm supposedly a curse or something. I think the real problem is that the Huskies completely suck, but hey what do I know? If it's my fault, I guess it's my fault.

I could go with Mankato only because Chris Clark is awesome. Other than that though, it would be a horrible decision. Mankato is a horrible town and I hate it. The arena sucks. They wear purple. There is not one other positive when it comes to the Landcows. Speaking of Landcows, I demand I get more credit for coming up with this term. People who don't properly credit me, i.e. everyone, suck.

There's Duluth. They suck at hockey too though. Plus I'm not even close to a big enough drunk to be a Bullpup fan.

SCSU....yeah. Sure. Fuck that.

The next team on the list is Wisconsin. Since Wisconsin is in Wisconsin, it's a definite no. As a Badger fan, I'd likely have to meet some moronic Packer fans. That would drive me to suicide. While that may make a whole bunch of people, it would make me dead and I don't feel like being dead quite yet.

UAA is in Alaska. That's a long ways away. I don't want to have to take a plane trip to go to any road series. So no to that too. Plus Seawolves aren't real. That's gay. Maybe if they were real, I'd be more prone to cheer for them, but since they are faker than Jenna Jameson's tits, no way.

CC/Denver. I don't care what people say, they are the same school. Both suck. Next.

I did wear a Gopher jersey a couple weeks ago. It made many people mad or annoyed or ashamed or something. That's a major plus cause pissing people off is always fun. Plus Stu Bickel could teach me how to properly flick off the opposition. How awesome is that? Still though, it's Minnesota. That's a major negative. Minnesota is a way better state than Wisconsin, but Minnesota the school is just retarded. Screw them.

So ultimately, I can't change teams. Much to the joy of other teams' fans I am sure. UND is gonna play UNH this weekend and damnit, they are going to sweep. Mainly because I'm going to have to miss the Saturday game.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Muskrat House

Muskrat House? Wha???? Muskrat House is one of the interpretations for what the name Wisconsin means. How completely asinine and stupid is that? It's right up the alley of everything that is Wisconsin. It totally sucks.

So when I went to Michigan Tech there were lots of moments that were completely awesome. UND smoking Tech 6-0 on Saturday. Getting kicked out of the Tech Student Section. Ripping on the crappy nachos. Dolphins with legs sewn on and respirators so they can breathe. These were all great times. But there were two moments that stood out far and above any others on the weekend. They were:

Is there anything quite as beautiful as a sign announcing you've left Wisconsin? I don't think so. Obviously Wisconsin is just a terrible state and no one likes it. But why don't people like it? Why does Wisconsin suck? Surely there are more reasons than "it just does." Well here are those reasons according to all sorts of people:

A sign found in Wisconsin said: Open Everyday! 7 am-8pm (Summer Until 9 pm) 8 Days a Week Major Credit Cards Accepted - The Darkness

Every single one of the douchebags that live there worship the Vicodin popping, drunken grease monkey, hick that plays for their favorite team - Dirty

They play in a "dual purpose facility". I'm guessing the two purposes are to suck and blow. - Bakunin/Santa Lucia/GopherFan18/asterick hat/27 other people

They don't have a decent hockey team, professional or otherwise. - Brenthoven

The City of Ashland had a detour for absolutely no reason. There was no road construction. There was no accident. There was nothing. They had a detour because they suck. - Dirty

No alcohol sales in Madtown after 9 PM. - Twitch Boy

The colors on the Packers uniforms really clash with each other. - Brenthoven

If you're waiting for a ride back from State Street at 1 AM and you're trying to keep warm in the entryway of the museum next to the capitol building, the police will think you've robbed it. Even if you're wearing a full Pep Band uniform and a giant hot dog on your head. I almost became the second Pep Band member to end up in police custody. - Twitch Boy

They think Miller High Life is indeed the pinnacle of good beer. - Brenthoven

The men actually have more teeth than the women, although the men have less tattoos. - Brenthoven

The stupid 8.5x11" max sign size in the Kohl Center - MeanEgirl

Madison residents have more pinball machines per capita than any other city in the US. (This isn't a bad thing per se; I just suck at pinball.) - Twitch Boy

They think blaze-orange overalls is their "Sunday Best." - Brenthoven

Almington - MeanEgirl

Packers, Brewers, Bucks - The Darkness (You forgot Badgers, Rob Green)

You need a Master's in Linguistics to pronounce a typical Wisconsin last name, Wojekewowskiewicz for example. - Brenthoven (Bonus points for the ethnic hatred exhibited towards Poles)

Cheeseheads like to boink deer and dead people. That's just nasty and wrong. - Dirty

No NHL team - MeanEgirl

*If anyone has any more reasons to add, I'd be happy to add them.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

UND Hockey: The Winslow's Edition

Did anyone else think Family Matters was a great show? Did anyone else think Andreas Vlassopoulos was awesome as Urkel? How about Brian "Eddie" Connelly's best friend Scott Thauwald aka Waldo Faldo? Well then let's all talk about our favorite episodes. I've got a few:

Driving Carl Crazy. Carl is having stress problems, so he goes to the doctor. While in the waiting room he finds a pamphlet that offers advice of saying "3-2-1, 1-2-3, what the heck is bothering me?" when he feels stressed. Instead of talking to a doctor about his obvious health issues, Carl decides to take this advice instead. Great move by Carl. Later on in the episode Carl attempts to teach Urkel to drive. Urkel, being the annoying nerd that he is, just irritates the hell out of Carl until Carl attempts to murder Steve. He chases Urkel around Urkel's POS car and then attempts to tip over the car when Urkel enters it. The attempted murder of Urkel is a frequent theme of Family Matters you may remember and lead to much laughter for all. Instead of murdering Urkel though, Carl nearly kills himself via stress because he had to take the pamphlet advice instead of a real doctors advice.

Robo-Nerd. Urkel creates an Urkelbot. To the surprise of no one, Urkelbot falls in love with Laura because Laura was a stone cold fox. In an attempt to get Laura all to himself, Urkelbot ends up locking Urkel in the closet. He could have locked Urkel anywhere, but he locks him in the closet, that's just weird and kinda poetic or something. No idea why. I do really wonder why Urkel was living with his parents who hated him and continued to go to High School when he could invent things like this on a whim. He was some sort of genius nerd, but he never used these skills to actually do something with his life. Why not? It is dumbfounding to me. What was the deal? He could have sold all his inventions, become a millionaire and been Laura's sugar daddy. For being such a genius, why didn't he ever think of this? Urkel sure was dumb for being so smart.

Surely, You Joust. Urkel and Carl get in a fight. So logically they go on American Gladiators to settle their differences. Or something. Really this was just a pathetic cross-promtional gimmick or something. I mean if Navy Seals regularly got their asses owned on this show, are we really supposed to believe that a 5'6" 300 lb. cop and a string bean uber nerd wouldn't be killed on the show? Urkel would have been broken in half on the Breakthrough & Conquer and Carl would have died of a coronary trying to climb The Wall.

How the West was Won. Coach Lubbock's contract runs out and he is fired. When Mike learns out about this he begins to gather signatures but when this measure fails to bring Coach Lubbock back, Mike organizes a sit-in and Maggie reports on it. Coach Lubbock still gets canned though.

Hey wait, that wasn't from Family Matters, it was from Growing Pains. Ummm, nevermind that one I guess. Though that episode was important in the TV sitcom world as it led to the show Just the Ten of Us. This was a cool show that got canceled way to quickly. I blame the politics that were TGIF. Graham Lubbock just couldn't catch a break. He gets kicked off one show only to get his own show. What happens? After being awesome for three years, he gets canned from that show too. What a screw job.

What does any of this have to do with the UND-Colorado College series you ask? Well nothing I guess, at least not the Just the Ten of Us part. I just thought this was a forgotten show that deserves some recognition.

Sioux sweep this weekend.

Monday, October 22, 2007

This Entry Sucks

Not surprisingly I'm already getting tired of doing these stupid things. So yeah, we'll see what happens here.

Michigan Tech is supposedly the new super good team in the WCHA. Well isn't that super? I don't care. They are going to lose this weekend because they won't be able to score on the best defense in the country. So suck on that.

They obviously don't have enough to do in Houghton as evidenced by this stupid giant snowball. What an utter waste of time and how totally pathetic. They were going for a World Record for, obviously, the largest snowball. I don't remember if they got it and frankly I don't care.

Here we have the Tech club Water Polo Team. Yeah, enough said. Water Polo is completely awesome and this picture has nearly ruined my appreciation for that awesomeness. I am forever traumatically scarred. Screw you, Michigan Tech.

Tech students with Lewis Black. Way to be 8th grade cool and flick the camera off guys. Notice the moronic shit eating grins on everyone's faces but Black's. That's because he knows how utterly moronic this is. What a freaking waste. Black looks utterly miserable and I don't blame him.

So the games. Sioux will sweep again because they are just better than Tech. Plus they are pissed from last year's debacle. Oshie and Duncan each get three goals on the weekend and Kaip scores at least one. JPL might give up his first goal of the year or he might not.

Let's see if we can get even less comments on this one. Since when I put actual effort into these entries, I get nothing for a response but Goon's horrible abuse of the English language, I figure why care any more?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

You people do realize that the letter "R" is part of the alphabet, right?

First of all, lets get this out of the way. Why can't these idiots pronounce r's? It really isn't that difficult. It is just pathetic the way the English language is routinely butchered (never on this blog though obviously).

UND plays Boston College and Northeastern this weekend. I really don't feel like talking about Boston College much right now. Maybe I will later, but as of now pretty much screw them. I will say a couple things about them just so to keep up my high standards. The Eagles have pretty much no experience at goaltending. Because of this freshman John Muse played at the Ice Breaker tournament. I have to give him credit. Being a world renown naturalist wasn't enough for him, he also had to go to a snooty catholic college to play hockey. Plus he's like 170 years old. Just awesome!

On to Northeastern. I could of course talk about this guy. But he sucks, so screw him. Plus he has nothing to do with the hockey game and having something to do with hockey is a very important aspect in things I talk about.

I know absolutely nothing about this team other than the fact that they are named after cardinal directions. To me, this is always a bad sign. Just like you wouldn't attend a school that takes it's name from a porn star, you shouldn't want to attend a school that takes it names from directions. I mean really how silly would it be if you attended "Drive three miles down this road and then hang a left when you hit Washington Avenue then drive about a quarter mile until you see a Pep Boys. Take a left right after the Pep Boys and drive down two blocks. The store should be on your left side University"?

Actually, I do know a couple more things about this crap filled University other than it's poor name choice. I know that they like to steal other schools logos. For proof of this only has to look to the left to see that they blatantly rip off Nebraska's logo. It wasn't enough for them to rip off Nebraska's logo just once though. Oh no, they had to do it twice by puting a dog in their second case of copyright infringement. Seriously, how difficult is it to come up with your own unique logos? You aren't a high school, you could actually put some effort in and come up with something of your very own instead of just copying those of a well known University. Show some damn pride in your school and what it can do you bunch of hacks. Sure your name is absolutely horrible, but don't let that hold you down. Break the stereotypes and do something.

I attempted to have this very same discussion with Ryan Ginand when Northeastern came to UND in 2005-06. I asked him why his school had to copy Nebraska. He wanted none of the conversation and instead just called me ugly. I think this may have been partially due to me calling him Ginard due to a misprint in the roster, but who's to say for certain one way or the other?

I should give Northeastern some credit though. They do actually have a few logos that are all their own and show no evidence of rampant thievery. This one is my favorite. Paws, Northeastern's mascot is about to pounce on the city of Boston and cause untold amounts of structural damage not to mention scores of deaths of innocent civilians. I mean think about it, you are just some random schmuck minding your own business when some huge ass husky appears in the skyline. You run in absolute terror, but to no avail. Paws has seen you and thinks you look tasty. You are as good as dead.

Is this really the image Northeastern wants to project? That their mascot is going to destroy buildings and eat people? Now I admit I'm not in public relations or anything, but I don't think having your mascot destroying homes and eating it's inhabitants is a good way to endear yourself to potential customers. Maybe I'm wrong though.

I think a local area school/university should subcontract Godzilla or Mothra to control the threat of Paws. Imagine the photo-op that would result if say the president of Tufts signed King Ghidorah to defend the city against the menace that is Paws. He'd get a key to the city, be the Grand Marshall of the St. Patty's day parade and be worshiped alongside Tom Brady's jock. What a story that would be.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Hall of Fame Game and JS is Lame

This dingbat above is known as Johnny Spirit and is supposedly some sort of Michigan State Super Fan. A couple notes here about Johnny.
First, he needs to put on same damn pants as he looks like a total dink.
Second, nice bike hat. It's awesome how he even got the brim bent up in an attempt to be at his utmost coolest. But despite this effort, he is obviously not cool. There are oodles of Michigan State fans in the background and not a damn one of them is paying him any attention. Even that kid in the orange hat thinks he's a douchebag.
Third, why the hell is he wearing gloves? He wear no shirt. He wear no pants. Yet he make it a point to wear gloves? What is wrong with him? Not only does he wear gloves but he also waves around crappy ass twelve-cent pom-poms. He looks like he should be in the church bell choir with the way he's holding those things.
Fourth, he has his stupid flag mounted dead center in the line of his vision. That's a truly brilliant move. Nothing like purposely placing a big ol' post right in front of your face.
Fifth, he is riding a women's bike. Yep, you read that correctly, Johnny Spirit is riding a women's bike. What a gutter monkey.
Sixth, back in 2004 this loon had his flag stolen. Who really cares about that though, the article reveals that he has been doing this same stupid crap since the early 90's. Seriously? Since the early 90's? How big of dweebo is this guy?

All these things point to one very obvious thing. Johnny Spirit needs to find a hobby outside of running around nearly naked at Michigan State Sporting Events. Being the kind hearted person I am, I have decided to help Johnny Spirit out with this. Here are a few ideas of what Johnny should be doing instead of emotionally scarring small children with his lack of attire:

Collect Stamps - This is an oldy, but goody. Who doesn't enjoy collecting stamps?................Exactly, collecting stamps is lame and stupid so it matches your personality perfectly.
Rake leaves for the elderly - It's all part of the devious plan. You rake their leaves and then when you go into their house so they can pay you, you steal their Life Alert pendant.
Operate a Meth Lab - By the looks of it, you've obviously done a large amount of it. You may as well try to make a profit off your debilitating habit.
Write a novel - Become the next Ernest Hemingway and write classics like The Old Man and the Sea and For Whom the Bell Tolls before committing suicide. On second thought, skip the novel part.
Become a tutor - Just think how rewarding it will be to help Casey Pierro-Zabotel get into a Community College.
Be a Big Brother - You could take Jeff Lerg on his first roller coaster.
Do Jigsaw Puzzles - Another opportunity to steal old people's pensions and Life Alert pendants.
Take up Cross Dressing - At least you'd be wearing clothes. That would be a definite plus.
Build Model Cars/Ships/Airplanes - This will keep you inside for long periods of time and away from a grateful public.
Become a Cloud Watcher - Good God, this sounds even worse than stamp collecting. Seriously, I can't even wish this one upon you.
Start Gardening - Grow a rose. Grow a plantain. Grow a tomato. Grow a pepper. Eventually you might be able to grow into a real man and get a life.
Treasure Hunting - Now this is just an awesome one. Unless you become one of those pathetic old men with the metal detector on the beach at the butt crack of dawn. Hmmm, now that I think about it, this would likely be exactly what you'd become.
Ham Radio - This is exactly what you need. It's just as dorky as what you are doing now, but it is only among other nerds.

Johnny Spirit should pick one of these hobbies or find one of his own. Ultimately though as long as he puts on some pants and gets off the bike, I'll be happy.

Oh yeah! The hockey game. I nearly forgot! Justin Johnson is from Grosse Point Woods, Michigan. My only question is wasn't John Cussack in that movie? BTW, what is with players being named Justin Johnson? I swear there are like 50 of them playing college hockey hockey. There are more and more every year. They seem to multiply like rabbits or something.

Michigan State may be the defending National Champions, but they are completely boring. I really could not care less about this team. In fact does anyone really care about this team or the university itself? MSU is just the retarded stepbrother of Michigan. It wants to be cool and is forever striving to be cool, but we all know it will never happen. I'm four sentences into my feelings on MSU and I'm already boring myself. In fact, I'm actually yawning as I type this.

This is what will happen on Saturday. UND will win this game 5-2 and Jean-Phillipe will actually make at least a few saves. The Oshie will score the GWG and the Maloney Pony II will run someone over.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

I hate Hairy, Smelly, Overweight Mammals

UND is playing their first game of the year on Sunday against the Manitoba Bisons (Bisons? WTF?). What we have above is a nice picture of Bison skulls and bones from 1870. Maybe it's just me, but that looks mighty impressive. They didn't even have automatic weapons back then and they still managed to completely mow down a shitload bison skulls. Think how many bison these guys could eliminate nowadays. With the dedication that they show, I have no doubts that they'd be able to wipe the entire species off the face of the map in under a month. That really has nothing to do with the game that is coming up on Sunday, it's just a cool picture.

Onto the game or at least onto not talking about the skull pile. Webster says that the plural form of Bison is Bison. So why is Manitoba called the Bisons? Do they enjoy being grammatically incorrect? I figured I should go to the Manitoba website as it could contain an answer to this question. Much to my chagrin, it didn't. Instead it just became more confusing as the banner at the top of the home page said "Bison Sports". I was even more lost now. Was it the Bison? Was it the Bisons? Were the coached by M. Bison? What the hell was going on? My suspicion was that they simply didn't know any better mainly because they are Canadians. In an attempt to confirm my suspicion I considered emailing Manitoba Sports Information Guru Chris Zuk to ask him what was up. But then I asked myself, "Do I really want to spend all that time writing an email to a guy who probably won't even respond to me?" The answer was obviously no, I didn't. I guess this means that why Manitoba is called the Bisons will have to remain a mystery for the time being.

The (M.) Bison(s) are coming off of a 14-24-0 season and are coached by some guy I've never heard of. They play in the Canada West Conference where they haven't won a title since 1964-65. That's 11 years longer than Michigan Tech and their last WCHA title. Pretty freaking pathetic if you ask me. I noticed that there are a number of spelling mistakes in the preview. This made me glad that I didn't email Chris Zuk. If he doesn't even bother to spell check the season preview, he certainly wouldn't have bothered to answer my very important question. While there was no spell checking, Manitoba did seem to randomly bold sections of the preview. That's cool, I guess. Well not really, but it does give the illusion that they actually put some sort of effort into producing the preview. After I finished reading this pathetic preview, I wondered why they even made it into a PDF. Seriously, what was the point? They spent like $200 to get Adobe Acrobat so they could save the preview in PDF format and then proceeded to type up a word document. They could've used Wordpad instead and saved themselves some money. Another huge mistake on Chris Tuk's part. This is really seeming to become a theme.

I do have to give the M. Bisons credit for one thing though, their tickets are cheaper than hell. $35 for season tickets. It's gonna cost someone off the street $27 for this game and Manitoba is selling season tickets for $35. Not only that, but you can get season tickets for every sport for only $75!!! That's a freaking sweet deal! Also the order form takes full advantage of Acrobat's capabilities. This tells me one thing, Chris Tuk wasn't in charge of getting the order form done.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

An Update? What the Hell?

So UND's roster has been updated and we now have pictures of all the players. How utterly exciting. This year is a bit disappointing though as the players are all just wearing the same Under Armor type shirt. Last year was much better as all the players wore suits. This was improved by the fact that some players seemed to forget their suits and had to share. In fact Robbie Bina and everyone's favorite All-American Golden Boy, The Oshie, enjoyed wearing the same suit so much that they got arrested together later in the year. That's true team unity.

I'll just cover the freshman as they deserve the most taunting because they are freshman.

Derrick LaPoint looks like a blonde haired Ferris Bueller. And why does he appear to be wearing a shirt under his shirt? That makes no sense. I attribute it to him being from Wisconsin.

Brent Davidson
appears to be gunning for Dan Kronick's coveted spot of fugliest WCHA player. He was a late signing and is a buddy of Chay "Don't call me Charles" Genoway (GEN-o-way (or is it JEN-o-way? Oh who the hell cares)) .

Evan Trupp
needs a haircut and appears to be growing some sort of peach fuzz mustache. Hmmm. Here's a tip Evan, when your grandma's mustache is more impressive, you really shouldn't have one.

Matt Frattin
.....Dude....wha? I did what last night? DUDE! No way. Man I was so high. I can't believe that cop. He was so awesome though.

Brad Malone
Looks like some sort of overgrown leprechaun. CPZ Look Out!! The Maloney Pony II is comin'! He's comin'!

Jake Marto Looks distinctly like Luke, a guy who had his couch burned at the old REA while students were waiting in line to get into a Gopher game.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Here is the Proof That Hollywood Likes Me Better

LetsGoMavs has been constantly harassing me for no good reason. I said that I got a Chris Clark jersey and she would not believe me. Well here is the jersey:
Since I can already hear her saying "Well where does it say Clark? I don't believe you! It's not a Hollywood jersey!" in that annoying womanly nagging fashion:
Since she'll next say "How do I know that jersey is yours? There is no proof! Blah blah blah. Nag nag nag.", here is the Hollywood jersey with all of my Sioux jerseys:
Lastly, LGM will say "Why are the numbers on the shoulders white on purple? They should be white on black! Are you retarded?" Yes, I realized this after I got the jersey back with everything sewn on and yes I am a retard for not having noticed this beforehand.

You may say none of this proves that Hollywood likes me better. That is why I have the following in full resolution:
Notice how it is signed #1 rather than #28. This signed puck will be a true collector's item when Hollywood becomes the unquestioned ruler of earth in 2023.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Reason #2 Casey Pierro-Zabotel Sucks: He can't pass his ACT

CPZ's Senior Picture

I hoped that making fun of the Hyphenated Dweebo would become a frequent occurrence and it's beginning to look like that might happen. Zabby Dabby Doo as he likes to be called evidently couldn't pass the NCAA stringent standards and is therefore spending the fall semester playing for Merritt, the junior team he has played for the last three seasons, to work on enhancing his brain power.

This is simply dumbfounding to me. How can you not meet the NCAA's standards? Aren't the NCAA standards pretty much equivalent to being able to tie your shoes and cross the street by yourself? There are currently football players at the University of Texas who are dumber than a melted box of chocolates. Despite this, they still managed to qualify for college. How is it possible that CPZ can't meet these standards? And if he can't meet these standards and yet Michigan Tech still accepts him, doesn't it bring into question their standards? This guy probably wouldn't even be accepted to West Beverly High but Michigan Tech is willing to bend over backwards for him? WTH? What a joke. Even Mankato is embarrassed by Tech's low standards. If this isn't reason to kick them out of the WCHA, I don't know what is.

If there is one positive to this whole situation, besides winning me the bet that is, it's that CPZ can now work on those subpar interviewee skills of his.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

WCHA Official Proclaimed Grandpa Douchebag

So Head WCHA Official Greg Shepherd aka Grandpa Douchebag went on a tirade at his grandson's baseball game yelling at an umpire. Not only that, but he was nice enough to do it on Father's Day. That's a nice touch. I'm normally all for going on tirades and yelling at officials/umps, especially Shepherd's own demon spawn of a son Derek, but even I have standards. Getting your shorts in a bunch over a game involving a bunch of 9 and 10 year olds is pretty stupid. These kids can barely even hit an overhand pitch and this cheesy buttsquirt is yelling at the ump for calling a strike on a pitch a quarter-inch off the plate? Earth to Grandpa Douchebag, no one gives a crap about the game, especially the kids. They just want the game to end so they can go to Shakey's for pizza, so why the hell are you making such a big deal out of this? Then again maybe if you showed this kind of passion when it came to policing your crew of dunderheaded officials in the WCHA, something would actually get done properly. But I'm sure that would be way too much work for you, so nevermind.

Eventually Grandpa Douchebag did apologize. While normally that would be cool, it isn't in this case as this isn't even the first time he had a hissy fit when it comes to little kids playing baseball. Oh no because he's previously yelled at a team of 11 and 12 year olds for being on the field practicing when he and his buddies were supposed to be on the field for some stupid beer league game. He only gave a half-arsed apology for that incident though.

"[The players] were told to stay off the fields, and they would repreatedly (HELLO EDITOR? Where are you? Out smoking a joint? I'm pretty sure repreatedly isn't a word.) ignore instructions," Shepherd explained. "At the time, given the position I was in, I took the hit. I still to this day don't believe I was wrong, but I still know I have to apologize."

Ummmm, yeah. Nice half apology. What a fucking dick. That just cements his position as Grandpa Douchebag. I'm surprised he didn't whip his belt out and proceed to wail on the kids while he was at it. Then again maybe he did, the article didn't really specify.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Reason #1 Casey Pierro-Zabotel Sucks: He's a Bad Interview

Pierro-Zabotel is on the left wearing what appears to be a hood ornament off of some sort of 1970's Eastern European car.

As many people already know, I have a wager with the World's Smallest Person aka Little Miss Shoebox aka The Michigan Tech Stalker aka Foxton's Secret Lover aka MeanEgirl. The last time I made a bet with her, I lost. I believe the main reason this occurred was because I didn't talk enough crap. I will not make that same mistake again and am now instituting what I hope will become a frequent theme to this blog, reasons why Casey Pierro-Zabotel Sucks. Now sure I could go with the obvious of the fact that he's attending Michigan Tech University, but what fun is that? That would be way too easy, much like your average SCSU cheerleader.

So let's kick this off in grand fashion. If you scroll down a bit here you'll see an interview with the hyphenated one. Halfway through this interview, you can just tell he has the presence of a tree stump. He's lobbed complete softballs for this interview yet he still stumbles like a drunken lemur trying to climb a tree. "The more I play, the better I play.....I think." Wow, that was simply brilliant. Look out world, I think we've got a Rhodes Scholar on our hands! Then again since Casey will never be interviewed by anyone of importance while playing in the wasteland that is Houghton, Michigan maybe it doesn't really matter that he couldn't construct a meaningful sentence even with the help of Tech's Nacho Treadmill.

Now if you look just below the link for Pierro-Zabotel's *ahem* "interview", you'll see a truly great interview, that of Brett Hextall. Now that is how you call an interview. Look at how Brett interacts with the interviewer. He makes eye contant, he responds without stammering, he just has a great on camera presence. Brett could certainly teach Casey a thing or two about it that's for sure. Of course Brett being the class act and wonderful interview that he is, had the smarts to commit to the University of North Dakota. I highly doubt this is just a coincidence.

If anyone has any other reasons why Casey Pierro-Zabotel sucks, I'm listening. I know there are millions of them, but even I can't think of them all.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

I did what now?

This pretty much sums up how I feel about blogs. Yet I am still creating one and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I think it will result in me being discovered and given a multi-million dollar book deal. Maybe because I think it'll help me meet the ladies. Maybe I'm just doing it because I have nothing else to do in my life. Whatever the reason, I now have a blog I guess. I'll probably rarely post and eventually just give up on the whole thing because I'll realize it's way too much work to maintain and I am incredibly lazy. Whatever though. Enjoy it while it lasts or something.