Sunday, July 29, 2007

Here is the Proof That Hollywood Likes Me Better

LetsGoMavs has been constantly harassing me for no good reason. I said that I got a Chris Clark jersey and she would not believe me. Well here is the jersey:
Since I can already hear her saying "Well where does it say Clark? I don't believe you! It's not a Hollywood jersey!" in that annoying womanly nagging fashion:
Since she'll next say "How do I know that jersey is yours? There is no proof! Blah blah blah. Nag nag nag.", here is the Hollywood jersey with all of my Sioux jerseys:
Lastly, LGM will say "Why are the numbers on the shoulders white on purple? They should be white on black! Are you retarded?" Yes, I realized this after I got the jersey back with everything sewn on and yes I am a retard for not having noticed this beforehand.

You may say none of this proves that Hollywood likes me better. That is why I have the following in full resolution:
Notice how it is signed #1 rather than #28. This signed puck will be a true collector's item when Hollywood becomes the unquestioned ruler of earth in 2023.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Reason #2 Casey Pierro-Zabotel Sucks: He can't pass his ACT

CPZ's Senior Picture

I hoped that making fun of the Hyphenated Dweebo would become a frequent occurrence and it's beginning to look like that might happen. Zabby Dabby Doo as he likes to be called evidently couldn't pass the NCAA stringent standards and is therefore spending the fall semester playing for Merritt, the junior team he has played for the last three seasons, to work on enhancing his brain power.

This is simply dumbfounding to me. How can you not meet the NCAA's standards? Aren't the NCAA standards pretty much equivalent to being able to tie your shoes and cross the street by yourself? There are currently football players at the University of Texas who are dumber than a melted box of chocolates. Despite this, they still managed to qualify for college. How is it possible that CPZ can't meet these standards? And if he can't meet these standards and yet Michigan Tech still accepts him, doesn't it bring into question their standards? This guy probably wouldn't even be accepted to West Beverly High but Michigan Tech is willing to bend over backwards for him? WTH? What a joke. Even Mankato is embarrassed by Tech's low standards. If this isn't reason to kick them out of the WCHA, I don't know what is.

If there is one positive to this whole situation, besides winning me the bet that is, it's that CPZ can now work on those subpar interviewee skills of his.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

WCHA Official Proclaimed Grandpa Douchebag

So Head WCHA Official Greg Shepherd aka Grandpa Douchebag went on a tirade at his grandson's baseball game yelling at an umpire. Not only that, but he was nice enough to do it on Father's Day. That's a nice touch. I'm normally all for going on tirades and yelling at officials/umps, especially Shepherd's own demon spawn of a son Derek, but even I have standards. Getting your shorts in a bunch over a game involving a bunch of 9 and 10 year olds is pretty stupid. These kids can barely even hit an overhand pitch and this cheesy buttsquirt is yelling at the ump for calling a strike on a pitch a quarter-inch off the plate? Earth to Grandpa Douchebag, no one gives a crap about the game, especially the kids. They just want the game to end so they can go to Shakey's for pizza, so why the hell are you making such a big deal out of this? Then again maybe if you showed this kind of passion when it came to policing your crew of dunderheaded officials in the WCHA, something would actually get done properly. But I'm sure that would be way too much work for you, so nevermind.

Eventually Grandpa Douchebag did apologize. While normally that would be cool, it isn't in this case as this isn't even the first time he had a hissy fit when it comes to little kids playing baseball. Oh no because he's previously yelled at a team of 11 and 12 year olds for being on the field practicing when he and his buddies were supposed to be on the field for some stupid beer league game. He only gave a half-arsed apology for that incident though.

"[The players] were told to stay off the fields, and they would repreatedly (HELLO EDITOR? Where are you? Out smoking a joint? I'm pretty sure repreatedly isn't a word.) ignore instructions," Shepherd explained. "At the time, given the position I was in, I took the hit. I still to this day don't believe I was wrong, but I still know I have to apologize."

Ummmm, yeah. Nice half apology. What a fucking dick. That just cements his position as Grandpa Douchebag. I'm surprised he didn't whip his belt out and proceed to wail on the kids while he was at it. Then again maybe he did, the article didn't really specify.