Monday, December 22, 2008

GLI: Hoping I Don't Get Shot

O, we don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan

The whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan
We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan, cause Ohio sucks too

While this song typically only applies to the fake U of M, I'm going to expand the coverage of this song to all crappy schools in Michigan. That means this song covers Michigan, Michigan State, Lake Superior State, Wayne State, Michigan Tech, Grand Valley State, Saginaw Valley State, Northern Michigan, Western Michigan, Eastern Michigan, Central Michigan and every other Directional Michigan there is.

Seriously, is Michigan really worth anything? It's far and away the worst state to get a job in. It's worse than fucking Mississippi fer Christsake. M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I! Any time you are worse than Mississippi at anything, it's time to pack up your bags and leave town because you have obviously failed at life. I can only assume that Michigan sucking donkey ass when it comes to unemployment is one of many things that Michigan blows monkey balls at. They obviously eat cow crap at football as evidenced by Wolverines and everyone's favorite laughing stock, the Motor City Kitties.

But what really sucks the most about Michigan is obviously the Michigan State Spartans. When you are in last place of the CupCake Hockey Association, you are just pathetic. These jerkoffs are a year and a half removed from fraudiently winning the national championship. Now they are the worst team in Michigan. At least Michigan and Michigan Tech are making an effort to not suck. Michigan State is doing absolutely nothing. They suck and seem proud of it. This is the school that infected the this country with the world's biggest village idiot, Johnny Spirit. You would think they'd try to make up for this crime against humanity by being a decent team. Instead they do the exact opposite and suck more than a Paris Hilton model vacuum cleaner.

Lets forget about the crappy ass hockey team and instead look at something Spartan fans seem to actually care about. Rioting. No wait, I mean Pumpkin Pushing. I'm sorry, but it doesn't matter how good you are when your coach is 53 years old, dresses like an 70's undercover cop hopped up on PCP and no doubt has countless STD's from his college days. When this happenes you automatically lose all credibility. Could this assclown look any dumber? He obviously stole that vest from his wife. And way to sell the whole hippie motif by wearing that watch, Izzo. Fucking moron. Equally pathetic is Izzo's attempt to dress up like a spartan soldier. This isn't even close to believable. He looks like a complete tool bag. And what is with the nipples and "outtie" belly button stuff? That is just lame.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Kids These Days

It's time for The Count again!!!!
One!! Hahaha!
Two!! Hahaha!
Three!! Hahaha!
Four!! Hahaha!
Five!! Hahaha!
Six!! Hahaha!
Seven!! Hahaha!
Seven Potential Dude Love Victims in the box!!

Actually there ended up being eight guys in the box. Team USA is such a bunch of goons that they had to bring out a folding chair. Wow. That is pretty impressive. Let's list off all these clowns:

Kenny Ryan - Boston College
John Ramage - Wisconsin
Richie Crowley - Unwanted Stiff
Drew Shore - Denver
Ryan Borque - New Hampshire
Cam Fowler - Notre Dame
Kevin Lynch - Michigan
Jeremy Morin(Not Pictured) - Unwanted Stiff that refuses to wear a shirt or jersey

What does this show? I have no idea. That teams from all across the country want American Goons? It's rather obvious that many of these guys shouldn't be attending Pioneer High School and should instead be sent to a Juvenile Detention Center. Their shenanigans are completely ridiculous. Especially given who they were playing in the game, Michigan Tech. If Team USA wasn't such a bunch of goons, they probably would've won the game. As if it wasn't embarrassing for the team to lose, they gave up four goals to the Huskies. That is just terrible. I would think Ron Rolston had to be dissappointed in his team for such a subpar effort and of course for being jerks.

There is one player however on the U-18 Team who distinguishes himself from his delinquent teammates by the name of Nick Mattson. This is not surprising as Nick Mattson is a UND recruit and therefore a perfect gentleman. In fact, as of December 7 "Noble" Nick is the only non-goalie without a penalty on Team USA. As you can tell from this article, Nick is just complete awesomeness. Which makes him the exact opposite of all his jerk ass teammates. It's a wonder he can put up with such cretins. The fact that he can do this makes him all the more Noble and just proves why he deserves the nickname I just gave him five minutes ago.

BTW, what's the deal with the USA wearing white helmets? I never got that. It just seems weird to me.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Nothing this Week

SCSU is not worthy of my taunting.

To all my fans, haters and stalkers, sorry for the delay in posting this. I know you all wanted your fix.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Harvard Potter and Thirteen Houses

What is the deal with Harvard having House Affiliations? Cabot, Quincy, Pforzheimer, Lowell, etc. Sounds like something out of Harry Potter. Do any of the hockey players belong to Slytherin or Gryfindor? How about Quiddich? Do any Harvardites play Quiddich? You may think this is just another one of my crazy/moronic conspiracy theories, but you would be wrong. I have proof that Harry Potter and Harvard are related.
Is there any doubt that I am on to something here? Further research is likely necessary, but there is something afoot.

Moving away from the Harry Potter Conspiracy, what House Affiliations really amount to is that Harvard is filled with pricks. House Affiliation my ass. It's a fucking dorm. Quit trying to make yourselves sound special, you aren't. You're just a bunch of buttweasels who got fleeced into paying $40,000/year to attend a school with a bunch of other pricks. That's it. Calling your dorms House Affiliations does not change this.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Cornell Bye Bye Bye

The Cornell hockey team seems to be quite big fans of boy bands. I am rather sad that this video no longer exists on the Internet though as it would provide wonderful entertainment for everyone. I'd say which Cornell player corresponds to which Nsync but amazingly I don't know the names of any of these clowns. I do remember that the guy on the far left hosted that NBC show Singing Bee. It was quite the crappy show the one time I watched it. Completely worthless, much like the entire ECAC. Even when UND is playing like absolute crap, such as now, they should still easily smoke a crappy team that doesn't even have a real nickname.

Cornell has a myriad of completely lame "athletic" teams that includes but is not limited to polo, rowing, squash and sprint football. And that's just talking about men's sports, on the women's side Cornell has equestrian (i.e. sit on a horse) and fencing (i.e. poke each other with a stick). Actually rowing actually isn't that lame. Polo, squash, equestrian, fencing and especially this sprint football (i.e. football for pussies) are incredibly lame though. For those of you that don't know, which I'm assuming is everyone given how stupid it is, sprint football is essentially football for talentless geeks. I love that it's called sprint football since the guys who play it are no doubt slower than crap. Why else would they play this instead of real football? Because they are slow, white, unathletic, preppy pricks. In other words, your average Cornell student. I had seriously never heard of this lame ass "sport" until five minutes ago when I found it on Cornell's website and I know about jai-alai fer christsakes. I don't think this should even be considered a sport and according to the NCAA it isn't. I am all for this. Sprint Football is horrible. It's like half a step up from marbles and jacks. The fact that Cornell prominently promotes this psuedo-sport on their official athletic website is beyond pathetic. It should be reason enough to revoke their Ivy League status. Which is a sham to begin with given where they are compared to the other schools. Cornell is to the Ivy League what Temple was to the Big East. An embarrassment. The Big East wised up and kicked Temple out. The Ivy Leaguers should do the same to Cornell.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Hjelle Fishing Time!

If only Brady Hjelle actually got to play, Hjelle Fishing would be possible this weekend. Sadly the only thing Brady does is develop splinters in his butt. So he's like Nate Ziggleman except he's not from Grand Forks and therefore sucks.

Brady's lack of playing time is really sad because I can't think of anything that would better than going Hjelle Fishing with Spongebob and Patrick. As long as Squidward doesn't come with. That guy is a freaking dick. He gives a bad name to all Squidkind. As much as I dislike Squidward though, it does not come close to the disappointment I feel that Brady Hjelle will not be doing anything this weekend other than standing behind all his teammates on the bench looking like a complete dink.

Speaking of Brady's, it's rather obvious that Jack Connolly worships Carol Brady. What else could explain that horrible haircut? What is the deal with that thing? Does he curl his hair in a vein attempt to woo Alex Stalock? I should hope that it doesn't work. No one should be impressed by that horrible 50's housewife hairdo. Jack Connolly looks like he should be Kevin Arnold's mom on Wonder Years. This would be the perfect time to talk about the awesomeness that is Winnie Cooper, but I have enough pictures in this entry so nah. I believe that Jack Connolly is a total loser. This theory is proven to be correct by the fact that he can't even get an original name and has to steal his teammate's.

And it's not even a good teammate either. It's Mike Connolly. Upon first inspection, he looks normal but then you notice something. He's a pubehead. Pubeheads, much like Mormons, are all bad people. There is no exception. It's a law. While it's not a well-known law, it's still a law and is called the Pubehead Certainty Principle. This law states that any person who's head is covered with pubic hair is automatically a jerk and completely worthless to the rest of the world. Few people know that before there were Christians, the Romans threw pubeheads to the lions. We took all sorts of ideas from the Romans, I want to know why we didn't take this one. Much like gingers, pubeheads are a festering pimple on the world, except some gingers are awesome while no pubeheads are awesome. They all suck. Have you ever met a pubehead who wasn't a total stuck up prick? I didn't think so. So screw you Mike Connolly. You are total jerk and no one likes you.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Halfway to being swept

Congratulations UND. Way to play like absolute crap. Way to sit around and do nothing. Way to expect to win without having to even try. This was an utterly pathetic game. Playing great for two minutes doesn't really work out very well, does it? I want my $20 back that I spent on this game because I got absolutely ripped off.

The only thing UAA had to do to win this game was show up and they did that for 20 minutes which is helluva lot more than UND did. What an absolute embarrassment.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Two Boring Weeks in a Row

I would like to personally apologize to someone for being lazy last week. I can only assume this is a picture of him when he was Fire Helmet Kid #36. I have a good reason to be lazy though. Colorado College is boring and they have no fans. There was absolutely nothing for me to add to the series and I had no idea what the hell I would talk about, so I just decided to skip the whole thing. I had a similar problem for this week, but decided I didn't want to disappoint the little fellow in the picture two weeks in a row and should make an effort.

On to this weekend's series. I've already covered a number of things about Alaska Anchorage such as "What the hell is a Seawolf?" and "Why they hell would you name your team after a loaf of bread?". The next thing on my list about the safety school of 54th state is.......

What is the deal with Anchorage and their horrible attendance? I've watched three UAA games so far this year and in all of them the attendance has been absolutely putrid. These games have all supposedly had 3100-3700 people at them. The problem with this claim is that I've seen about 20 people in the stands for these games so unless there are 3000+ people just out of camera range, the attendance numbers are obviously complete bullcrap. The only thing I can figure from this is that Alaskans don't know how to count.

Enter stage left this guy. Alaska Anchorage, their fans and the Sullivan Arena staff are obviously in need of his help. I truly believe The Count could teach the entire state of Alaska a myriad of things and perhaps they could teach him to make a canoe out of a caribou or how to train polar bears to do your bidding. That would be pretty sweet actually. Teaching Polar Bears to maul people and stuff. What a great idea. I'm such a genius some times.

Anyways, in exchange for learning how to see Russia from your house, The Count could teach Alaskans how to what else, count.

Three Seawolves fans in the entire arena. Wow, pathetic."

Pathetic indeed Count. You are a wise man. Maybe that's why you're a Count.

Since this is another boring week where the Sioux play a team that I really don't care much about, I'm going to take a break and make a PSA here. The Honkers were totally under appreciated. While guys like Bert, Ernie and Elmo get all the pub, awesome dudes like The Honkers go about their job, teaching kids all sorts of stuff with little to no fanfare. This makes me very sad. I loved The Honkers. I do question why Grandpa Honker is not wearing any clothes though. That's kind of scary. No one wants to see old man parts, especially when they are old man Honker parts. So Honkers, I salute you. You underappreciated monsters, you.

Now that I have done that, back to the discussion on UAA's pathetic attendance. I really don't understand how this can happen. What is there to do in Anchorage? Stare out your bedroom window at the mountains? Put a saddle on your pet walrus and waddle around town? Eat pizza at Uncle Joe's? The answer is obviously absolutely nothing. So why is there no one at the games?

I did a bit of research (I know! Amazing, isn't it?) and checked out the Alaska Aces', the ECHL team in Anchorage, attendance. They've managed to get more people at every single one of their games. So what's the deal with UAA? Obviously no one cares about them in Anchorage.

Last but certainly not least.....UAA! UAA! I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before, but it is freaking awesome. It's the best thing about the Seapups. So bad. So horrible. So indescribable. No school song could fit a team more perfectly. If only Sebastian Bach was singing it, it would have been perfection. BTW, in my research of the Alaska Aces, I discovered their team song. It's pretty much just as pathetic. Quite sad that none of the hockey teams in the 57th state can have a decent song associated with them.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Ode to Wisconsin; How I hate Thee

UND plays the Dead Deer Rapers this weekend. As everyone knows, Wisconsin sucks. I thought I should investigate this and find signs that are located throughout Wisconsin that illustrate this point. Please note: Signs may or may not actually be located in Wisconsin.
This one CANNOT be said enough. Bob Barker was right. Please, please, please Badger fans listen to this sign. But take it a step beyond the sign's suggestions and include yourself in this neuterfest. The world needs less Badger fans and this is one of the best ways to accomplish that feat. Now you may not agree that you should neuter yourselves and that's fine I guess, but if you don't do it someone else will. I'm sure most Badger fans won't do their civic duty and get the job done. Because of this, I call on all non-Badger fans to help out this cause. Badger fans are a scourge on an otherwise wonderful society and they need to be dealt with accordingly. If you see a Badger fan roaming the street, hit him over the head with the empty whiskey bottle he's carrying and bring him to the local clinic/hospital to get the job done. You will be doing your town, state and country a wonderful public service.

Yeah I stole this one from Minnesota. Who cares? Wisconsin sucks and this picture sums it up perfectly. There is absolutely nothing good about the state or the people. Every single solitary thing about it sucks. California has better cows and cheese. Beer sucks. Deer are scared. Their mascot is totally lame. Seriously, why doesn't bucky have a neck? Who the hell designed that thing? It's absolutely freaking lame. You need to have a freaking neck on the damn thing. It's already stupid enough just for the fact that it's Wisconsin's mascot but then you don't even give it a neck? Wow. Just wow. That by itself makes Bucky one of the worst mascots in the country.

Turkey Registration? Seriously? Why? And where exactly is it? That building looks like it should have been condemned 10 years ago and they are having turkey registration in it? Turkey is absolutely horrible. I hate it. Every Thanksgiving, this damn bird is served and everyone is supposed to eat it. Well I have a major problem with this. The real problem is that all this food is made and then it sits out to become lukewarm to cold. Who the hell wants that? How about we eat the damn food when it's hot? Wasn't that the point of cooking it? Well then why the hell are we letting it sit around for half an hour beforehand? The turkey is dried out and nasty, the mashed potatoes are cold and clumpy, the gravy has that icky "soup skin" on it and the entire meal is ruined. Seriously WTF? The only saving grace is pecan pie. And that brings me to another problem, why do people like pumpkin pie? Absolutely horrible. It looks like baby shit. Screw that. Turkey Registration, turkey, cold mashed potatoes, skinned over gravy and pumpkin pie all suck.

If only Cheeseheads could read. This sign would help them all immensely. Sadly, they cannot read unless they are at a hockey game and following the directions of a senile old man holding up stupid signs. Even then, they can only do one word at a time. It really is quite pathetic how stupid Cheeseheads are. There are small children in third word countries who have never been to a day of school in their life that can put together more coherent sentences than your average Badger fan.

If this doesn't describe the typical Badger fan perfectly, I don't know what does. They are slow, stupid and worthless. This is why the neuterfest is necessary. If we don't do it, no one will and then we'll have a true disaster on our hands. Do we really want slow, dumb, illiterate, neckless children running around? I certainly don't and I doubt you do either. So we really all need to band together and work toward this common goal of eliminating Badger fans in the next few generations. If we don't, who knows what horrible sorts of things could occur.

Remember your equations for the test kids:
Dany Heatley+Car+Pillar=Trouble

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Mankato. What a dump

Mankato, while a completely horrible and sucky town filled in hicks and losers, actually had a few awesome things. But other then these few things Mankato is still the absolute garbage pit of a stinktown that I so unfoundly remember from five years ago.

Star # 3 goes to the free parking that I obtained on Friday night. Parking for the game was only $3, but we got there when they were setting crap up so we just pulled in and got free parking. SCORE! Sadly this was not recreated on Saturday night because certain people in our party did not seem to care if we arrived in Mankato early enough to get free parking. While this is typically OK, this lack of caring had a very large consequence. We did not get to go to fucking Candyland! This made me incredibly sad as it would have made you incredibly sad. Candyland had 80 differerent flavors of licorice. Candyland had 22 kinds of root beer. Candyland had pumpkins. Candyland had caramel apples. Candyland appeared to have every damn thing you could ever imagine. In short, Candyland was the shit. And this was just my impression from the road driving by. How incredibly wonderfully awesome would it have been if we had actually stopped? The answer to that question will never be known.

Star #2 goes to the incompetence that is Mankato Zamboni Drivers. On Friday night the moron Zamboni driver managed to completely screw up and dropped a big old load of snow on the ice, as you can see in the far left of the picture. The moron then killed the Zamboni and needed a guy to help push him off the ice since he is a completely talentless douche bag. After Douche Bag managed to get his dumb ass off the ice, the other Zamboni came by and picked up all the snow the Douche Bag dumped all over the ice. This guy obviously also sucked at his job because soon after he did this, ice and snow started shooting out of the top of his Zamboni.

Throughout the weekend I watched both of these toolbags when they came out. Another problem is that these idiots always back out onto the ice. This makes absolutely no sense. No where else do is this done. Are they just idiots at Mankato or what? Zamboni #1 backs out, at like 35 MPH, onto the ice and starts going around. Then Zamboni #2 comes out doing the same thing. When they are almost finished Zamboni #1 leaves the ice followed by Zamboni #2. When the next intermission rolls around, Zamboni #1 comes out again followed by Zamboni #2. This can mean only one thing, they have room to rearrange the Zamonis so #1 always comes out first. So the question that begs to be asked is: If they can do this, why can't they drive out onto the ice the correct way? It is quite amazing how the Zamboni guys in Mankato are completely talentless ass clowns. Is it a requirement to of suffered a traumatic brain injury to be a Zamboni driver at the Alltel Center? No other arena I've been to has the problems the morons in Mankato do. Just another reason why Mankato does suck. Though their idiocy is entertaining to me so this one kind of cancels out.

Star #1 goes to the blind, drunk dancing old lady who sat in front of us Friday night. Actually Star #1-#15 goes to this lady. She was freaking hillariously awesome. What did she do you ask? What didn't she do is the better question. She embarrassed her grandchildren. She tried giving away her popcorn to everyone within two rows. She asked the guy sitting next to her wearing a Gopher hoodie if he played for the Gophers. She used binoculars from the 5th row. She proudly proclaimed "I'm legally blind!!!". After stating my displeasure for the game going on and idea that we go to the SCSU-Minnesota game the next night, she told me "You better go to the Gopher-Huskies game [on Saturday]". She kept turning around and talking to the lady next to me about how nice Edina was. And she was completely shitfaced.

This lady was plain and simple awesome. Sadly I did not think to take a picture of her. I have no idea why I didn't think of this and I deserve an epic fail for this. I was feeling quite ashamed of myself when I realized the opportunity I had missed. I quickly cheered myself up though when I realized that in a relatively short period of time I was going to be able to leave what can only be termed "The Wisconsin of Cities", Mankato. This was a quick and immediate cure for the melancholy I was experiencing.

Hopefully a few more good things like this will happen the next time I visit Mankato because without these few glimmers of hope Mankato can only drive one to consider the perks of a life of meth addiction.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Sioux Fan Sells Out

UND goes to Boston this weekend to play the Icebreaker Tournament where they'll play Boston University and Massachusetts. At this point I would typically say all sorts of bad things about BU and/or Massachusetts. Either the team itself or some players. This week is different though. I have nothing bad to say about either school or any of their players. Instead I'm going to focus on a *ahem* "Sioux fan". Not just any "Sioux fan" mind you, but a Benedict Arnold of a "Sioux fan." His name is Brandon Geist and he's a fucking traitor.

The picture above is Brandon and as you can see he appears to be a Sioux fan given he is wearing a Sioux jersey and hat. And, at least to my understanding, he is a Sioux fan and has been since 1999. All appears well and good. That is until you see the dark side of Brandon Geist. For Brandon has been living a double life. While he randomly appears at hockey games wearing Sioux clothing, he appears quite different when he isn't at hockey games. Because of this I have begun to call him The Traitor.

If you notice in the picture to the left we have The Traitor and his girlfriend. Her face has been blacked out to protect the innocent, kind of like in Cops except she isn't a white trash criminal. She's really done nothing wrong and therefore does not deserve to be dragged through the mud. She is however necessary to be in a picture with The Traitor. As you can see she is wearing a Boston University jacket. OK, maybe you can't clearly see that but just trust me, she is. She is also a graduate of Boston University. Brandon it appears has sold out. He's willing to consort with the enemy with little to no regard for his University of North Dakota Sioux fandom and I find it sad.

In 2003 Brandon camped out (and drank heavily) for three days in order to obtain season tickets for Fighting Sioux Hockey. He was the epitome of a Fighting Sioux hockey fan. That has all seemed to change though. Now he is willing to wear the colors of Boston University. Now you can argue that was not his plan when he put that ugly shirt on the day this picture was taken, but does it really matter. It is still the colors of Boston University and Cheesehead Nation. This is unacceptable. This is why he is The Traitor. He has no regard for others, all that matters to him is him.

I say how dare he! It is a privledge to be a fan of the Fighting Sioux and The Traitor doesn't even care. He takes it for granted. I also say that until The Traitor apologizes, he be kicked out of Fighting Sioux Fandom. So Brandon, this weekend feel free to show your true colors. There is no longer any need to hide them. Wear a Terrier jersey and worship the ground that grumpy old fart Jack "Man of Many Jackets" Parker walks on. We don't need you. We don't want you. If you apologize, we will welcome you back with open arms. Until then though, go suck an egg.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Protesters are Wrong

Once again there was a protest at a Sioux hockey game. This time the protest was about REA decision to hang the Tribal Flags (username: password: goaway) of the Standing Rock and Spirit Lake Reservations. The Herald was nice enough to pad the number of protesters there actually were in the article. It was nowhere near 40, there were 17 or 18. I counted them. Meanwhile, there were at least the same number of Native Americans standing in the lobby a hour and a half before the game started and upwards of 100 Native Americans that came to REA for the ceremony. Maybe it's just me, but when Michael Eshkibok says “I have a tendency to believe most people are supportive of what we’re doing, people have good hearts”, I have a tendency to believe most people aren't supportive of what you're doing.

This is the first protest that truly pissed me off as it is absolutely ridiculous. Hanging flags is disrespectful? Seriously? That is just dumbfounding. By this line of thinking, the UN disrespects all of it's member nations by having their flags hung.

“I came out here to be with this group of people,” said Karen GreyEyes, a Spirit Lake elder, as she gestured to her fellow protesters from under her umbrella. “I have not yet been in the Ralph Engelstad Arena. I refuse.”
Just wonderful. Wonderful indeed.
  • So you want REA to change their stance, but you refuse to meet with them in an attempt to meet this goal. Brilliant.

One man held a sign that read “REA MONEY EQUALS IGNORANCE.” He pointed to it and said, “That’s what this is all about.”
What does that even mean?
  • That since REA doesn't agree with your particular view point, they are ignorant? That seems rather self-important.
  • That since REA has money, they refuse to try to understand anything about Native Americans? This is stupid to begin with but assuming it's true, would not having Native Americans come to REA and perform the ceremony that they did help educate people?
  • You just don't like REA and therefore do not like anything they do? This seems the most likely to me. No matter what REA and/or will do or does, this gentleman will find fault with it.

“We’re trying to make a statement about the conduct of the REA,” said protester and UND staff member Judy Rieke. “Every time they do something like this, it hurts the students.”
Really? Having a flag dedication ceremony hurts students? How? That is just asinine.
  • No really, explain how this hurts students. I mean it. How does showing a part of Native American culture and allowing Native Americans to speak on their history hurt students?
  • How does allowing Native Americans to voice their support of the Sioux nickname hurts students?
  • How does allowing people who do not agree with you the chance to speak hurt students?
  • I realize Judy will never read this and if she did, she'd ignore it but still. Give me a break Judy. You obviously are just like the first gentleman and refuse to see anything good. Since you don't agree with the idea of the Sioux name, nothing can ever be done in good faith. You're a bullheaded cynic who demands everyone agree with your point of view while at the same time refusing to listen to anyone else.

“Liz and I have always been against the Fighting Sioux name and logo,” Chelsey [Luger] said. “As native people growing up in Grand Forks, we’ve always dealt with the issue.”

“It’s clear that that level of respect is not there in this community," she said
Awesome. Just throw out a general statement and don't back it up at all.
  • Why are people allowed to say things like this and be given any credibility at all? How is it clear? What level of respect? What proof is there? These things are always said and when pushed, the response is usually something that happened in the 1970's or "The name makes people unfortable".
  • Just because someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't mean they don't respect you.
  • Just because you want respect, doesn't mean you deserve respect. You earn respect, you aren't just given it because demand it.

Here is a letter to the editor from Chelsey to the Dakota Student. What irritates me the most is this:
We recently learned about the Ralph Engelstad Arena's latest plan to publicly disrespect and exploit Native people under a façade of cultural consideration: the "Unveiling of the Tribal Flags Ceremony."

The REA will be holding this "ceremony" prior to a UND exhibition hockey game on October 5th. The ceremony consists of flag presentations, a history reading, and honor songs: all of which will be performed by members of both the Sp[i]rit Lake and Standing Rock Nations.
  • How by allowing members of both the Spirit Lake and Stand Rock Nations to perform history reading and honor songs REA did "disrespect and exploit Native people"?
  • It seems to me that they don't. Once again it comes back to Chelsey not liking the nickname and therefore she'll blindly disapprove of anything UND or REA do.
  • No matter what is done, no matter how much it can or does benefit Native Americans, Chelsey will complain and find fault.
  • Chelsey's personal beliefs trump and are of greater importance than anything else. What she thinks is all that matters. If something can benefit Native Americans but is not lock step with her beliefs, it can not be allowed because she does not approve.
  • Absolutely ridiculous. The world does not revolve around you. Sometimes people and organizations who you do not agree with manage to do good things. To immediately dismiss these things and charge them with ulterior motives shows how closed minded you truly are, Chelsey. Once again I'm sure Chelsey won't read this, but I don't really care.

I hope this protest had nothing to do with the ceremony and instead was just another "Change the Name" protest. It does not seem probable though. Instead this protest was exactly about the ceremony and their disapproval of it. Something that from an outside perspective is a nice and gracious thing to do, is viewed by these protesters as an exploitative and dishonorable event. Since the protesters didn't give their expressed permission and blessing, it's wrong. The problem with this is:

  • If asked for permission or blessing, they would have said no.
  • If REA did nothing, the protesters would complain about how dishonorable REA is and how it is exploiting Native Americans by not doing things to honor Native Americans.
  • So according to the protesters attempting to honor Native Americans is wrong and not attempting to honor Native Americans is wrong. That makes no sense at all.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Jess Myers: World's Stupidest Columnist or Just Insane?

Today, in an absolutely catastrophic event Jess Myers picked UND to finish in 7th place in the WCHA. This is no doubt the greatest mistake since the French implementation of the Maginot Line. I, being a fan of UND, do not know if I will ever recover from this. The very idea that someone can even fathom the University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux not finishing with home ice advantage is a foreign concept to me. I mean, how can this be? As if this isn't enough; this Jess Myers character, if that is even his real name, taunts, flaunts and besmirches UND fans about picking UND in 7th place! I don't think Jess Myers is his real name, I think his real name is Fuzzy McStinkypants and that is what I am going to call him from now on. How dare he? HOW DARE FUZZY McSTINKYPANTS? Doesn't he know who we are? He should immediately be fired from INCH for being so stupid. Anyone who thinks UND will finish in 7th place in the WCHA obviously doesn't even know how to skate. I bet he hasn't even seen UND play because if he had he would pick them to finish 3rd place at worst and even that is borderline insane.

Just to prove Fuzzy McStinkypants wrong, I'll give you reasons why UND will win games this year. The Sioux have a Hobey Baker winner! That by itself is worth at least 20 wins. They also have a guy who is really tall for a hockey player. That's worth three wins. They play in the best arena in the country, Ralph Engelstad Arena. Five wins. REA has escalators. Two wins. On the road the Sioux wear "Swift" jerseys. This allows them to skate at supersonic speeds. Seven wins wins. The huge arse hot tub at REA is worth at least six wins. They have three assistant captains and each assistant captain is worth one win. If you total this all up, UND will win no less than 46 wins. As you can see, with all these wins there is no way UND will finish in 7th place in the WCHA.

With these indisputable facts on my side, I will be awaiting Fuzzy McStinkypants apology for questioning North Dakota. He should know by now that it is not allowed.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Lamoureux vs. Lamoureux: A (Exhibition) Battle to the Death

In my time watching college hockey I've learned a few things:
  1. Alaska-Anchorage will never be good.
  2. Mankato State frequently changes their name.
  3. Mitch Lake is creepy.
  4. Jesus Hates Wisconsin.
  5. SCSU fans like to whine.
  6. Miami is the most overrated team in the country.
  7. On Saturday's UND reuses popcorn from Friday night. They carry the old popcorn to the various concession stands in garbage bags. EWWWWW!
  8. Canadian University teams are typically made up of older players who suck too much to play professionally but stubbornly refuse to stop playing hockey. They are also a bunch of goons.
UND has their annual game against Manitoba next Sunday and this last point seems to once again be true. The Bisons (I still don't get that. Bisons? Really? Horrible Grammar.) are likely filled with talentless goons, not the least of which is Pierre-Paul Lamoureux (from now on referred to as PPL because his name is WAY too many letters to type every time). PPL just happens to be the brother of former UND goaltender Jean-Phillipe Lamoureux and current UND freshman Mario Lamoureux. PPL is a freshman, or whatever the equivalent is in the weird Canadian University system. Canada refuses to use this terminology because, well I don't know why. For the hell of it perhaps. I think PPL is one of the few non-Canadian players to play in the CIS, the Canadian version of the NCAA. Tommy Mannino, the cousin of former Denver goalie Peter Mannino, is the only other American I found in my thorough research of the Canada West Conference. What is with Americans playing in the CIS being relatives of former WCHA goalies? That's just weird. Since leaving Grand Forks Central, PPL has the following stats:

281 GP, 6 Goals, 26 Assists, 683 PIM.

Judging from these stats and his team picture, he'll fit right in with the rest of the Manitoba twits. He's been in 35 fights in the last four years according to and it seems he sucks at it. This opinion is backed up by this and this. I love the caption for the second video, "Pierre Paul doing what he does best..". What exactly does he do best? Get his ass kicked in fights? Despite obvious lack of skill, he will likely attempt to start a Primeau Brothers style fight with Mario. If he succeeds at this, he will no doubt get his lunch handed to him. Heck, I bet his twin sisters can even beat up him up. That's probably why he left Grand Forks in the first place; he was tired of Jocelyne and Monique beating him up.

Speaking of total losers, Calin Wild is a complete doofus. He is doing a blog on Manitoba's season. Why is the first thing he talks about the remodeling of the locker room? And why does he sound so fruity talking about it? He's so excited about the new paint job that he's going to hang around the locker room more often now? Really? What's he going to do? Stand there and admire the walls? It sounds like this guy needs a hobby. Maybe if instead of admiring jerseys and feeling up carpet Calin practiced more, he wouldn't be playing for a crap CIS team. Maybe he could be playing in the ECHL. The rest of his blog is a complete bore and not worthy of mention other than if he loves the coldtub, why doesn't he marry it?

In yet another epic failure, what is with Manitoba's roster page? Is their webmaster some obese guy who spends his entire day sticking his stubby fingers into a Pringles can trying to get the crumbs out of the bottom? Sure I have all sorts of errors on this blog, but I'm not running an......Holy crap! I'm watching Talk Show with Spike Fernstein on Fox and Kevin Farley is a guest. Does he look just like his brother or what? That's freaking amazing......... University Website. Why is there no consistency with listing the player's hometown? Some list town, province and country while others only list the town. What the heck? Come on, it's really not that tough to have the same format for all the hometowns. Why is listing the country even neccessary? Other than for PPL, it seems like a complete waste of time. And why isn't there a team picture at the top? There is obviously a place for it with that big black square. If the team picture hasn't been taken yet, leave that part off the website. It looks totally bush league to have it. Finally, why do they spell it center? They are spelling it defence, so why aren't they spelling it centre?

Why isn't Manitoba updating their webpage to clear off old players? As you can see Krister Toews is shown as a random player. The problem is that Toews signed with the Manitoba Moose this summer. This is ridiculous. Take a little pride in your school and their website. Make it accurate. It really isn't that difficult. You know who I blame for all of this? Chris Zuk. Last year he did a pathetic job of putting together the season preview as it was littered with spelling mistakes and random boldings, so it really isn't that much of a surprise that he is behind the laziness that is Manitoba's webpage. Zuk is being just as lazy as the webmaster. If he put any effort at all into or gave one damn about his job, things could actually be done competently. Instead Manitoba's website sucks, updates suck, previews suck, every thing sucks. This clown needs to be fired.

The Bisons are still a crappy team, going 15-20-2 last year and finishing 4th place in Canada West. It'd be nice if Manitoba would become a good team at some point as it get boring playing them every year when they are so crappy. On the plus side for Manitoba, season tickets are once again pretty damn cheap. $100! They are only $75 if you take advantage of the Early Bird Special. Awesome! And that's for every sport. This is pretty much the only thing about Manitoba that is worth snot.

The only hope I have for this game is that in the first period Aaron Walski and/or Brad Eidness manages to save more than 1/3 of the shots he faces. Other than that, I don't really care too much as UND will almost definitely win and the game doesn't even matter.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Pre-Entrepreneurship. Is It A Real Major?

Brad Eidness and Graeme Harrington both have Pre-Entrepreneurship listed as their major. dubz, whoever the hell that is, has asked me to investigate this major to find out if this is actually even a real major. dubz it seems is completely unwilling to do even the smallest amount of detective work to answer this question for himself. He is however willing to make conspiracy theory level conjecture on what exactly Pre-Entrepreneurship is. To quote our friend dubz:

Is [Pre-Entrepreneurship] sort of like "I haven't quite built an independently wealthy-massive-casino-Nazi-racist mascot fortune like Englestad...yet?"

Ummm, no dubz. That's just plain stupid. It doesn't even make sense. I sincerely hope he didn't spend too much time thinking up that idea. I do need to congratulate dubz on not knowing how to spell Engelstad. Spelling the name of the guy he was making fun of correctly might have added some credence to his theory. As it is though, it's just a sad seven year old joke. I won't hold it against him though as he probably doesn't know any better. Heck he was so lost on what Pre-Entrepreneurship was that he asked me for help. When was that ever a good idea? Since dubz was obviously a few fries short of a Happy Meal, I figured I'd help him out, so here we go.

Pre-Entrepreneurship is actually much like Pre-Law, Pre-Med, Pre-WhateverTheHellTheMajorIs. You pass all these stupid classes and then get accepted into the program. So the real question here is what is entrepreneurship? From my brief investigation entrepreneurship appears to be a major for people who want to learn how to scam others out of their money. All you have to do is come up with lamebrain ideas and then sell them to the sucker public. I'm not really sure why you'd need to major in this though. It's obvious. People are freaking stupid. It's a fact of life. I don't need to go to school to learn this, I just need to open my eyes. I mean just look at all the stupid things people buy.

One of the worst things is this damn "Buy food in 100 Calorie packages!" This is complete and utter bullshit. Essentially what is happening is you are paying more money for the privilege of getting less food in a cute little package. People are way too stupid to realize this though because they are fucking lemmings. Since all their friends are doing it, they need to do it too. So they go out and buy this crap, paying twice as much for it in the stupid 100 Calorie packaging as they would have if they would have just bought it in normal packaging.

So dubz, to answer your question, entrepreneurship is pretty much taking advantage of the infinite stupidity of the American public. In other words, taking advantage of people like you.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Freshman Taunting

After nearly a six month hiatus, it's time for me to make a long awaited post. Since there were no (reported) arrests of UND players this summer, it's been kind of boring. I was really hoping that Joe Finley would have fought a polar bear after breaking into the Cincinnati Zoo or, despite it being July, an alumni like Ed Belfour would singlehandedly ruin Oktoberfest in Dusseldorf. Alas, neither of those things happened and instead I was left bored out of my mind. Being so bored you would have thought I would have come up with ideas for this blog. You'd be wrong though. So instead of having a great new blog entry with a brilliantly sophisticated premise, I'm going to make fun of the freshman again. It's something I'm good at so I'm going with it. This year, they are back to wearing suits and ties. That's a major step up from last year where it looked like schmucks in their under armor shirts.

Corey Fienhage hails from the great city of Apple Valley, home of Karl Goehring. Corey appears to have a lazy eye, like Stuart Scott. Hopefully this doesn't effect his play on the ice and much more importantly doesn't make him an annoying sack of donkey crap, like Stuart Scott.

Mario Lamoureux It's Phil Kessel! With two balls! I wonder if he'll hyphenate his name too. It'd be especially cool if he was Mario-Luigi.

Jason Gregoire is a great person because he told Denver to screw off and decided to come to UND. Due to this he can murder puppies and punch nuns in the face for all I care. He is a great person. I am considering voting for him for president. He is that awesome. Sure he's Canadian and like 18, therefore completely ineligible, but that's ok. He's still better than Grandpa POW or Hockey Mom.

I hope David Toews is like Chay Genoway and tells everyone that they've been pronouncing his name wrong. Seriously, how can it be pronounced taves? That doesn't even make sense. I was looking at David's picture and for some reason his tie looked familiar so I did some Sherlock Holmes investigating (i.e. looked on Google) to try to figure out why it seemed so familiar. That's Jonathon's tie! First we had T.J. Oshie and Robbie Bina sharing a tie a couple years ago, now David is using Jonathon tie. What is with this Sioux hockey tie sharing thing?

Ben Blood. Most. Awesome. Name. Ever. You sir, Ben Blood are not being made fun of because your name is AWESOME.

Brett Hextall Holy Haircut Batman! I truly hope Brett is like his dad and just goes crazy once in his UND career. It'd be great if he went "Reed Larson" on Don Adam.

Brad Eidness Goalies are supposed to be exciting. Or at least total freaks. Eidness looks to be completely boring though.

Graeme Harrington appears to be carrying on the tradition started by Matt Frattin last year and appears stoned/drunk. He also appears to be wearing a tie he stole off a hobo. Again this tie theme. Either guys refuse to get their own tie or they wear an incredibly cheap looking one. I wouldn't doubt it if Graeme's tie is actually a clip on. Graeme is a messed up spelling too. Doesn't even make sense.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


For years my awesomeness has been ignored and taken for granted. Only once before, when I was five and won the best hockey player in East Grand Forks award, had my brilliance been truly recognized. Then on Friday, April 4 2008 at 9:23 P.M. it all changed. Everyone needs to remember exactly where they were and exactly what they were doing because that date will be this generation's moon landing. Your grandchildren will be asking you about it and what it was like to live through such a historic moment. History books will remove the section about the Berlin Wall falling and replace it with what happened on this date. If you don't know what happened, I truly feel for you. You have lived four entire days in sheer ignorance.

That is why you're here though, to educate yourself on a historic moment in human history. Finally someone came to the realization of how awesome and hot I was. That someone was Runninwiththedogs. I was named the Blogger Hottie of the Year. It's nice to know that Affirmative Action didn't come into play like it did last year and that a deserving winner was named.

Besides me, out of all the people who blog about college hockey, RWD seems to be the only one who has a brain. You could all learn much from her. Maybe instead of writing stupid entries about WCHA whiners, what the Philadelphia Phantoms are doing, making horribly dubbed video documentaries about players who leave, asking people what they think about the new background on your blog or stalking the "criminals" of college hockey, you should take after her or I. Maybe then your blogs would be worth reading. Doubtful though.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Michigan Tech Volume III

Once again I have found more dorks that attend Michigan Tech. I'm pretty sure this picture is from the Bash at the Big House from a few years ago when the Tech football team played Grand Valley State at the Big House aka Michigan's stadium. They of course got absolutely smoked because Michigan Tech sucks. I can't really taunt most of the Techies in this picture, but there is one that I can completely rip on. That is this stupid kid wearing scuba goggles. What a freaking loser. Her(?) only job appears to be to push around a guitar amp on a dolly. Wow. Really? That is one pathetic job. Even MEg was in charge of smashing cymbals together. If she can manage to do something, I would think this "chick" could too.

This is a picture of Tech's first ROTC officer type guys in 1928. I have nothing against these guys, mainly because I don't want them to come out of their graves and beat me to death. I do want to make a couple points about these guys though. I absolutely love those pants and want a pair. They are absolutely awesome. The guy from second to the right has quite the impressive mustache too. That had to do his momma proud. Also the shorter guy that is in the middle of the picture is named DeWitt. What an awesome name!

Now onto what people are actually here for. Taunting the Michigan Tech Paintball team. In order from left to right:

Guy #1 - Why are you wearing a camouflage headband? I'm pretty sure your butt ugly bright gold shirt will give you away to anyone. Wearing that headband really isn't going to help you at all in playing your stupid little "sport", life or anything else. Take that stupid thing off. Even Guy #2 thinks you look like a moron hence the dopey sneer on his face.

Guy #2 - I love the sneer. I also love the fact that you didn't even bother to put on any special equipment. Nope, you just got up the morning this picture was taken, ate a box of a dozen donuts and put on a t-shirt that says something in Japanese. Sure there is the supposed English translation below it, but how do you know that's the actual translation? What if it actually says "I'm moron American who thinks I'm clever by wearing a shirt with Japanese writing on it. Oh and I like eating donuts out of a box."? I love the pink plaid on your pants. I'm not sure what it is, but it's sweet. Pink is an awesome color. That's your only redeeming quality.

Guy #3 - You appear to have take a tie out of your dad's closet and put it around your head. Way to wear a blue shirt too. Boy, you won't stand out at all while playing your little game. Your back is to the camera though, so I can't comment too much more on you. You are no doubt a major dork though because you play paintball.

Guy #4 & #5 - You're both boring. I don't care about either of you.

Guy #6 - You look extremely bored. I don't blame you either. Paintball stinks. It's stupid and I would want to hit myself over the head with a hammer if I was forced to participate in it. I'm guessing you have the same thoughts. You are thinking about the best way to knock yourself out with a hammer.

Sioux in Two cause Huskies eat Pooh

Monday, March 3, 2008


So UND swept UMD just like I said they would. Big deal, it was expected. What wasn't expected was the goonery displayed by the Bullpups. Awesome job kneeing Duncan on Saturday because you were losing and suck at offense. Then awesome job with the Check from Behind on Genoway on Sunday.

If there was one utterly awesome thing about Duluth, it was staying at the Radisson Hotel and discovering the wonders of the Sleep by Numbers bed. This hotel is way too far from the DECC to walk, but the bed is freaking awesome. By far the most awesomest bed ever. The pillows were awesome too. The best part about this all though was the little towel looking thing on the end of the bed. I forget what it is called and I'm pretty sure it doesn't serve any purpose, but it is high class all the way.

The drawback was as I said the length we had to walk to the games. I swear to God, I nearly died. It was like trying to climb Mount Everest. That is where the next thing would come in oh so handy. While walking to the game yesterday, Sunday, I saw a guy who had the right idea. He had these walking stick type thingies. They were totally sweet and I wanted them. I strongly considered jumping him and stealing them, but I decided against it. While they looked completely awesome, this guy looked like a complete dork using them. I didn't want to risk being that dork, so I let this guy be and keep his sticky thing-a-ma-bobs.

Now to discuss the real problems. UMD Chancellor Martin has gone beyond being just my mortal enemy. She is now and forever will be burned into my memory as the worst person since Vlad the Impaler. Here she is pictured with someone who nearly matches her stupidity and idiocy, but not quite. I have previously given my thoughts on this stupid woman and how she was no doubt the driving force behind making this a Saturday-Sunday series, but it ended up being even worse than I thought it could be. The weather was absolutely horrible on the drive back last night. Had this series been Friday-Saturday like it should have been, we would have easily made it back to Fargo as the weather was OK in the morning and afternoon. But no, the games had to be at stupid arse times and therefore I had to drive through absolutely craptacular weather. I hate Kathryn Martin with an undying passion. I could have died or been severely injured because of this stupid bitch. The roads were horrible with ice, freezing rain and blowing snow all over the place. This goddamn cunt needs to be stopped. Duluth students need to somehow get rid of her. Rosie O'Donnell is a better person than Kathryn Martin.

As I said already, the roads driving back last night were really crappy. There was one idiot that truely sticks out in my mind. I was about 20 minutes outside of Duluth and driving at or nearly close to the speed limit despite the weather. I was not going fast enough though for one particular douchebag. This freaking idiot decided that it would be a good idea to pass me on the fucking shoulder of the road. Seriously, how stupid are some people? Was this kid a botched abortion? Can there be any other explanation for this dipshit? Who the hell tries passing on the freaking shoulder in perfect weather, much less horrible weather? I was simply dumbfounded. About a minute after passing me, he cut in front of some other people who were about 500 feet in front of me. Sadly, I don't think this waste of his father's sperm crashed his car and/or died as a result of his own stupidity. That is really unfortunate.

Finally, I'd like to point out the person who I went to Duluth with forgot the most important thing there is when you go to Duluth. Your I.D. This left me very sad and very disappointed. I wanted to go to Grandma's but didn't get to. Some times life just isn't fair.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Duluth. Can it be sold to Wisconsin?

The University of Minnesota-Duluth, like so many other schools, is completely unoriginal when it comes to their nickname. Nearly 40 schools in the U.S. have the nickname of Bulldogs. I wondered why so many schools chose this nickname, so I decided to do what I do best, worthless research on the Internet. I figured that somewhere there had to be something to shed some light on this mystery. This is the description of a Bulldog that I got off of a website. I've colored the important parts:

"It usually gets along well with other animals, is particularly fond of children, and does best indoors. Highly spirited as a puppy, the English Bulldog grows up to be a calm adult. The breed prefers not to exercise, can easily overheat, and is prone to drooling and snoring. "

In other words, it's the dog version of Drunk Hockey Guy.

About this time in my research, I decided I really didn't care. Who gives a damn about why some crappy satellite school chose their nickname? Who cares if the only cool bulldog ever was Spike on Tom & Jerry? Sure Spike was an absolutely awesome character and it was cute how he bonded with his son, Tyke, but that really doesn't have much to do with anything. So enough of this silliness, on to the actual games or at least something that is semi-related to the games.

I am a bit annoyed that this is a Saturday-Sunday series rather than a normal Friday-Saturday series. I'm going to have to drive back on Sunday night after the game and that totally sucks. Until this week I was OK with this happening though as I figured that the games were in the afternoon because of Section Finals hockey. This isn't true though. Instead these games are in the afternoon because of UMD women's hockey. Specifically the first round of the WCHA playoffs against Bemidji State. WTF Duck? Seriously? How freaking ridiculous. The women's team has had one home game, against Minnesota, where the attendance was over 1000 this year. Meanwhile, the smallest attendance for the men's team has been around 3600 people. This brings up why the hell this series is being forced to be played in the afternoon. I blame the bulldyke pictured to the left. She is UMD Chancellor Kathryn Martin and is my new mortal enemy. I know next to nothing about this woman other than that she once dumped water on the Ohio State University bench and that it appears she stole Sally Jesse Raphael's glasses, if not entire wardrobe. I don't really want to know anything about her either. She and her minions of morons suck. Just because she wants to watch women's hockey doesn't mean anyone else does. The women's games aren't going to be more highly attended just because they are at night or they are the playoffs. The main reason for this is because it is women's hockey and no one cares about women's hockey. The only thing that is going to happen is that less people will be at the UND-UMD games because they are at such stupid times. The fact that this troll-like woman is forcing her weird foibles upon everyone else is downright horrible and someone should overthrow this wretched harpy. If anyone has any ideas on how to accomplish this, I am all for it. I don't want to risk having another stupid Saturday-Sunday series again next year.

Sioux Sweep. I throw a broom on the ice.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Bemidji Beavers

Ummmmm.......Bemidji State is a fun team to play. Mainly because I like them and like to see them do well I guess. I just wish this was a home and home series though because the John Glas Fieldhouse is just an awesome quasi-deathtrap of a hockey arena. Hopefully something exciting happens as I really don't have much of an opinion about this series. UND will win both games and Aaron Walski will finally be in the nets for the Sioux. Wow, how exciting. Hopefully the snooty lady who won both JPL's and Oshie's jerseys at the Saturday Denver game will be at these games. I'd like to see everyone taunt her again. That was awesome.

Murder Inc. Sweeps

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Au revoir Pionniers

Brock Trotter a récemment quitté les Pionniers de Denver. La question brûlante a été pourquoi. Cette question peut rester brûler pour l'éternité comme Denver est à la tête de l'entraîneur, George "le Dasher le Singe Dansant" Gwozdecky est resté la maman sur la question, en disant seulement des choses comme "Nous sommes vraiment heureux pour Brock et son opportunité avec les Canadiens de Montréal". Le pionnier attise l'appel que cela Gwoz-parle. Je l'appelle le cheval chie et la preuve que Gwozdecky est devenu une andouille sénile. Comme Sherlock Holmes dirait, le jeu est en marche.Quelque chose est en haut et que quelque chose est des tentatives faites pour étouffer l'affaire massives. Si cela être que le Trotteur courait autour de la plus grande région de Denver battant de vieilles dames, en volant des banques, en volant le bonbon des bébés ou en fumant simplement la mauvaise herbe avec RStarr et le reste des hippies de Gros caillou, quelque chose est arrivée.*

*This portion of the blog is in French as a courtesy to Les Habitant fans who may be looking for information on Brock Trotter. To be translated into English, please go here.

As long as I'm talking about the Dasher Monkey, did you realize he wrote a book on passing the puck? This thing wasn't a pamphlet either, it was 216 pages of what I can only guess was complete garbage. If you don't believe me, you can read a couple pages of it here. One plus is that they put Stevie Y on the cover plus you can get it on Ebay for $3.98!!! Still though, I'm not sure how there can be that much information on how to pass a puck. I can do it rather well and I suck at hockey. Seems to me that anyone who actually buys this book is just looking to throw their money away. I'm sure every Pioneer fan has at least two copies of this waste of trees, one that they can read when they are on the crapper and one that they have framed and hung in their bedroom/den/study. Luckily, there are only about 100 Denver fans total as evidenced by the noise that is heard at Magness Arena on a game night. The sad thing about all these Pioneer fans buying this book is that I don't think George actually had anything to do with. As you can see, there was a co-author on this book by the name of Vern Stenlund. I'm pretty sure Vern did all the writing while George just yelled obscenities. I could spend more time and delve further into this book, but it's really not worth itt.

Denver started the year off so well and looked to actually be a national title contender. Since the new year though they've seemed to go down the crapper. They lost to Air Force for the first time since 1980 which was 19 games. That had to be a true kick in the balls. After that they escaped with a win against Bemidji and then got swept by Mankato. Now they've lost Trotter and the spiral down the toilet seems to be continuing. On the plus side, even with their unstoppable downward spiral, it appears the Pioneers are almost guaranteed to make the NCAA's. This is an improvement over the last two years where they have choked their way out of the NCAA tournament and not even made the WCHA Final Five. That has to bring a smile to the Dasher Monkey's face after the choke job his boys have done lately.

Sioux Sweep