Sunday, February 24, 2008

Duluth. Can it be sold to Wisconsin?

The University of Minnesota-Duluth, like so many other schools, is completely unoriginal when it comes to their nickname. Nearly 40 schools in the U.S. have the nickname of Bulldogs. I wondered why so many schools chose this nickname, so I decided to do what I do best, worthless research on the Internet. I figured that somewhere there had to be something to shed some light on this mystery. This is the description of a Bulldog that I got off of a website. I've colored the important parts:

"It usually gets along well with other animals, is particularly fond of children, and does best indoors. Highly spirited as a puppy, the English Bulldog grows up to be a calm adult. The breed prefers not to exercise, can easily overheat, and is prone to drooling and snoring. "

In other words, it's the dog version of Drunk Hockey Guy.

About this time in my research, I decided I really didn't care. Who gives a damn about why some crappy satellite school chose their nickname? Who cares if the only cool bulldog ever was Spike on Tom & Jerry? Sure Spike was an absolutely awesome character and it was cute how he bonded with his son, Tyke, but that really doesn't have much to do with anything. So enough of this silliness, on to the actual games or at least something that is semi-related to the games.

I am a bit annoyed that this is a Saturday-Sunday series rather than a normal Friday-Saturday series. I'm going to have to drive back on Sunday night after the game and that totally sucks. Until this week I was OK with this happening though as I figured that the games were in the afternoon because of Section Finals hockey. This isn't true though. Instead these games are in the afternoon because of UMD women's hockey. Specifically the first round of the WCHA playoffs against Bemidji State. WTF Duck? Seriously? How freaking ridiculous. The women's team has had one home game, against Minnesota, where the attendance was over 1000 this year. Meanwhile, the smallest attendance for the men's team has been around 3600 people. This brings up why the hell this series is being forced to be played in the afternoon. I blame the bulldyke pictured to the left. She is UMD Chancellor Kathryn Martin and is my new mortal enemy. I know next to nothing about this woman other than that she once dumped water on the Ohio State University bench and that it appears she stole Sally Jesse Raphael's glasses, if not entire wardrobe. I don't really want to know anything about her either. She and her minions of morons suck. Just because she wants to watch women's hockey doesn't mean anyone else does. The women's games aren't going to be more highly attended just because they are at night or they are the playoffs. The main reason for this is because it is women's hockey and no one cares about women's hockey. The only thing that is going to happen is that less people will be at the UND-UMD games because they are at such stupid times. The fact that this troll-like woman is forcing her weird foibles upon everyone else is downright horrible and someone should overthrow this wretched harpy. If anyone has any ideas on how to accomplish this, I am all for it. I don't want to risk having another stupid Saturday-Sunday series again next year.

Sioux Sweep. I throw a broom on the ice.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Bemidji Beavers

Ummmmm.......Bemidji State is a fun team to play. Mainly because I like them and like to see them do well I guess. I just wish this was a home and home series though because the John Glas Fieldhouse is just an awesome quasi-deathtrap of a hockey arena. Hopefully something exciting happens as I really don't have much of an opinion about this series. UND will win both games and Aaron Walski will finally be in the nets for the Sioux. Wow, how exciting. Hopefully the snooty lady who won both JPL's and Oshie's jerseys at the Saturday Denver game will be at these games. I'd like to see everyone taunt her again. That was awesome.

Murder Inc. Sweeps

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Au revoir Pionniers

Brock Trotter a récemment quitté les Pionniers de Denver. La question brûlante a été pourquoi. Cette question peut rester brûler pour l'éternité comme Denver est à la tête de l'entraîneur, George "le Dasher le Singe Dansant" Gwozdecky est resté la maman sur la question, en disant seulement des choses comme "Nous sommes vraiment heureux pour Brock et son opportunité avec les Canadiens de Montréal". Le pionnier attise l'appel que cela Gwoz-parle. Je l'appelle le cheval chie et la preuve que Gwozdecky est devenu une andouille sénile. Comme Sherlock Holmes dirait, le jeu est en marche.Quelque chose est en haut et que quelque chose est des tentatives faites pour étouffer l'affaire massives. Si cela être que le Trotteur courait autour de la plus grande région de Denver battant de vieilles dames, en volant des banques, en volant le bonbon des bébés ou en fumant simplement la mauvaise herbe avec RStarr et le reste des hippies de Gros caillou, quelque chose est arrivée.*

*This portion of the blog is in French as a courtesy to Les Habitant fans who may be looking for information on Brock Trotter. To be translated into English, please go here.

As long as I'm talking about the Dasher Monkey, did you realize he wrote a book on passing the puck? This thing wasn't a pamphlet either, it was 216 pages of what I can only guess was complete garbage. If you don't believe me, you can read a couple pages of it here. One plus is that they put Stevie Y on the cover plus you can get it on Ebay for $3.98!!! Still though, I'm not sure how there can be that much information on how to pass a puck. I can do it rather well and I suck at hockey. Seems to me that anyone who actually buys this book is just looking to throw their money away. I'm sure every Pioneer fan has at least two copies of this waste of trees, one that they can read when they are on the crapper and one that they have framed and hung in their bedroom/den/study. Luckily, there are only about 100 Denver fans total as evidenced by the noise that is heard at Magness Arena on a game night. The sad thing about all these Pioneer fans buying this book is that I don't think George actually had anything to do with. As you can see, there was a co-author on this book by the name of Vern Stenlund. I'm pretty sure Vern did all the writing while George just yelled obscenities. I could spend more time and delve further into this book, but it's really not worth itt.

Denver started the year off so well and looked to actually be a national title contender. Since the new year though they've seemed to go down the crapper. They lost to Air Force for the first time since 1980 which was 19 games. That had to be a true kick in the balls. After that they escaped with a win against Bemidji and then got swept by Mankato. Now they've lost Trotter and the spiral down the toilet seems to be continuing. On the plus side, even with their unstoppable downward spiral, it appears the Pioneers are almost guaranteed to make the NCAA's. This is an improvement over the last two years where they have choked their way out of the NCAA tournament and not even made the WCHA Final Five. That has to bring a smile to the Dasher Monkey's face after the choke job his boys have done lately.

Sioux Sweep