Thursday, March 13, 2008

Michigan Tech Volume III

Once again I have found more dorks that attend Michigan Tech. I'm pretty sure this picture is from the Bash at the Big House from a few years ago when the Tech football team played Grand Valley State at the Big House aka Michigan's stadium. They of course got absolutely smoked because Michigan Tech sucks. I can't really taunt most of the Techies in this picture, but there is one that I can completely rip on. That is this stupid kid wearing scuba goggles. What a freaking loser. Her(?) only job appears to be to push around a guitar amp on a dolly. Wow. Really? That is one pathetic job. Even MEg was in charge of smashing cymbals together. If she can manage to do something, I would think this "chick" could too.


This is a picture of Tech's first ROTC officer type guys in 1928. I have nothing against these guys, mainly because I don't want them to come out of their graves and beat me to death. I do want to make a couple points about these guys though. I absolutely love those pants and want a pair. They are absolutely awesome. The guy from second to the right has quite the impressive mustache too. That had to do his momma proud. Also the shorter guy that is in the middle of the picture is named DeWitt. What an awesome name!


Now onto what people are actually here for. Taunting the Michigan Tech Paintball team. In order from left to right:

Guy #1 - Why are you wearing a camouflage headband? I'm pretty sure your butt ugly bright gold shirt will give you away to anyone. Wearing that headband really isn't going to help you at all in playing your stupid little "sport", life or anything else. Take that stupid thing off. Even Guy #2 thinks you look like a moron hence the dopey sneer on his face.

Guy #2 - I love the sneer. I also love the fact that you didn't even bother to put on any special equipment. Nope, you just got up the morning this picture was taken, ate a box of a dozen donuts and put on a t-shirt that says something in Japanese. Sure there is the supposed English translation below it, but how do you know that's the actual translation? What if it actually says "I'm moron American who thinks I'm clever by wearing a shirt with Japanese writing on it. Oh and I like eating donuts out of a box."? I love the pink plaid on your pants. I'm not sure what it is, but it's sweet. Pink is an awesome color. That's your only redeeming quality.

Guy #3 - You appear to have take a tie out of your dad's closet and put it around your head. Way to wear a blue shirt too. Boy, you won't stand out at all while playing your little game. Your back is to the camera though, so I can't comment too much more on you. You are no doubt a major dork though because you play paintball.

Guy #4 & #5 - You're both boring. I don't care about either of you.

Guy #6 - You look extremely bored. I don't blame you either. Paintball stinks. It's stupid and I would want to hit myself over the head with a hammer if I was forced to participate in it. I'm guessing you have the same thoughts. You are thinking about the best way to knock yourself out with a hammer.

Sioux in Two cause Huskies eat Pooh

Monday, March 3, 2008

UMD Part II

So UND swept UMD just like I said they would. Big deal, it was expected. What wasn't expected was the goonery displayed by the Bullpups. Awesome job kneeing Duncan on Saturday because you were losing and suck at offense. Then awesome job with the Check from Behind on Genoway on Sunday.

If there was one utterly awesome thing about Duluth, it was staying at the Radisson Hotel and discovering the wonders of the Sleep by Numbers bed. This hotel is way too far from the DECC to walk, but the bed is freaking awesome. By far the most awesomest bed ever. The pillows were awesome too. The best part about this all though was the little towel looking thing on the end of the bed. I forget what it is called and I'm pretty sure it doesn't serve any purpose, but it is high class all the way.

The drawback was as I said the length we had to walk to the games. I swear to God, I nearly died. It was like trying to climb Mount Everest. That is where the next thing would come in oh so handy. While walking to the game yesterday, Sunday, I saw a guy who had the right idea. He had these walking stick type thingies. They were totally sweet and I wanted them. I strongly considered jumping him and stealing them, but I decided against it. While they looked completely awesome, this guy looked like a complete dork using them. I didn't want to risk being that dork, so I let this guy be and keep his sticky thing-a-ma-bobs.

Now to discuss the real problems. UMD Chancellor Martin has gone beyond being just my mortal enemy. She is now and forever will be burned into my memory as the worst person since Vlad the Impaler. Here she is pictured with someone who nearly matches her stupidity and idiocy, but not quite. I have previously given my thoughts on this stupid woman and how she was no doubt the driving force behind making this a Saturday-Sunday series, but it ended up being even worse than I thought it could be. The weather was absolutely horrible on the drive back last night. Had this series been Friday-Saturday like it should have been, we would have easily made it back to Fargo as the weather was OK in the morning and afternoon. But no, the games had to be at stupid arse times and therefore I had to drive through absolutely craptacular weather. I hate Kathryn Martin with an undying passion. I could have died or been severely injured because of this stupid bitch. The roads were horrible with ice, freezing rain and blowing snow all over the place. This goddamn cunt needs to be stopped. Duluth students need to somehow get rid of her. Rosie O'Donnell is a better person than Kathryn Martin.

As I said already, the roads driving back last night were really crappy. There was one idiot that truely sticks out in my mind. I was about 20 minutes outside of Duluth and driving at or nearly close to the speed limit despite the weather. I was not going fast enough though for one particular douchebag. This freaking idiot decided that it would be a good idea to pass me on the fucking shoulder of the road. Seriously, how stupid are some people? Was this kid a botched abortion? Can there be any other explanation for this dipshit? Who the hell tries passing on the freaking shoulder in perfect weather, much less horrible weather? I was simply dumbfounded. About a minute after passing me, he cut in front of some other people who were about 500 feet in front of me. Sadly, I don't think this waste of his father's sperm crashed his car and/or died as a result of his own stupidity. That is really unfortunate.

Finally, I'd like to point out the person who I went to Duluth with forgot the most important thing there is when you go to Duluth. Your I.D. This left me very sad and very disappointed. I wanted to go to Grandma's but didn't get to. Some times life just isn't fair.