Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Sourdough Mining Co. and Other Atrocities

Since I really could not care less about the crappy and boring team that is the University of Alaska-Anchorage Seawolves, I looked for something else to write about this week. The only thing I could think of was to make fun of the mascot/prospector of the Sourdough Mining Co., Dusty. While looking for info on him, I located some of the crappiest commercials known to man. which coincidentally all just happen to originate in Alaska.

Let us start with the namesake of this blog entry and check out a Sourdough Mining Company commercial:

OK, this commercial starts out and I seriously have no idea what "Dusty" says. Perhaps something about being a hobo who has been given a fresh set of clothes? To answer your question Mr. Singer Guy...No, corn fritters don't sound very tasty to me. They sound disgusting in fact. I really wish I could have found the commercial that is featured during UAA games where Dusty loads his caravan up full of food with his mule Jake. That one is just comedy gold. This one is just average. The theme song is nowhere near UAA! UAA! We are the Seawolves and we're ready to play! Then again, what is? After seeing this commercial, I decided to check out the Sourdough Mining Company website . Look at this. How pathetic is Alaska? They are giving seasonal shows to hobos now? Shouldn't Donald have a job in this case?

Abstinence:

Sex may be worth waiting for, but this commercial wasn't. This isn't just an awful Alaska commercial, it's an awful anything commercial. I want that 30 seconds of my life back.

Alaskans Are Drunks:

I wish I was deaf. So when the guy gets put in the back of the cop car he's wearing a hat. Then when shown riding in the back he's no longer wearing a hat. Once he gets out of the car he's back to wearing a hat. Once placed in the slammer, no hat. Hello Continuity!

Smoking Kills Peoples!!!!!:

First of all, what the hell does a solar eclipse have to do with secondhand smoke? As for the message of the commercial, I disagree completely. I believe all people should be forced to breath secondhand smoke. Is that guy in the white shirt wearing a carpet sample on his head or something?

Crappy Carpet:

Wow, the production values on this one are sky high. That bird sounds like it has hiccups more than anything else. And is it wearing glasses? Why is it teal? You do have to admire how the bird can hover though. I thought only hummingbirds did that.

Dancing Morons:

Ahhh, the commercial that will be played 112 times this weekend and at least once every break. I do wonder where they recruited all these peons from though. I counted 10 different people, including the hockey player and mascot. That leaves eight fans and we all know UAA doesn't have that many fans.

Boozeless Parties:

Madame, you are WRONG! Alcohol abuse is never something to celebrate! Just pouring it out? What the? That is just not right.

Crappy Carpet Without the Bird:

What in the world kind of dance is that? It looks like a cross between a seizure and the "I have to pee but the bathroom is being used" dance. Quite the fashion statement though. Red shirt, leather vest and Spongebob tie.

Sioux Sweep.

7 comments:

Brandon said...

what the hell, man?

Ted said...

Dirty,

There is no doubt our local TV commercials lack a certain professionalism. However, having watched UND games on FSN, I believe this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zsy0wNVVZjA

Fire Helmet Guy #26 said...

Brilliant post as usual, Dirty. Well except for the pics from last week with that 4-0 shot from the scoreboard from Friday night, could have done without that!

I always like the commercial from Grand Forks with the tire rolling throughout the city.....classic.

Dirty said...

Exactly. I don't see Anchorage with any self-propelled tires. All they have are insane carpet salesmen. Advantage Grand Forks. Not a surprise. Anchorage sucks at everything. Now that Lammy and Fabian have left the Aces, I expect them to go down the crapper.

Goon said...

I thought the commercials were a little cheesy but the Sourdough Mining Co., looks like a really good place to eat.

Anonymous said...

Hey Dirty whats up.... your blog is getting so shitty even your butt buddies don't come and prop you sorry blog up.

Max said...

I do feel bad, there is a lot of alcoholism in Alaska.