Saturday, September 25, 2010

Baldy Goes Inside the Manitoba Bisons

I really had no idea what I would do this year for the Manitoba games. UND plays them every year and there is never any info on them. I have to make crap up usually and that is just something that I don't like to do. I pride myself on my honesty and integrity. So much so that I am considering applying for a press pass. I think I deserve it and I'm sure you all agree. Given all of this, really what is the point of saying anything about Manitoba? I don't have any new information on the team or anything interesting to say about them. Or so I thought. Fortunately I found a video on YouTube that is pure gold. Hopefully it will do most of the work for me.

Let's start off with pointing out the obvious. No wonder tickets are so cheap, no one goes to the games. Despite half the team being from Winnipeg, where U of Manitoba is located, not even the players families appear to go to the games. I count approximately 30 people in the stands behind Baldy. If you project that out to the entire arena, I'd guess there are around 110 people at this game. That's less than American International. Pathetic.

Baldy saying Iowa St. looks like a AAA team is quite the ironic statement. Let's take a look at Manitoba's track record against NCAA teams.
2009: 0-1. Lost 7-1 to UND.
2008: 0-2. Lost 6-2 to UND. Lost 5-0 to UNO.
2007: 0-3. Lost 9-3 to UND (This is the game where JPL faced two shots in the first period and save neither). Lost 8-1 to UNO. Lost 3-2 to Canisius.
2006: 0-2. Lost 5-2 to UND. Lost 8-0 to UNO.
2005: 1-2. Beat Bemidji St. 5-3. Lost to UND 6-1. Lost 7-0 to UNO.
2004: 1-2. Lost 8-3 to UND. Lost 7-0 to UNO. Beat Bemijdi St. 5-3.
2003: 1-0. Beat UNO 5-2.
2002: 0-2. Lost 6-1 to UND. Lost 6-0 to UNO
2001: 0-2. Lost 4-1 to UND. Lost 6-1 to UNO.
2000: 0-1. Lost 5-4 to UND. Lost 6-1 to UNO.
1999: 0-1. Lost 6-4 to UND. Lost 5-3 to UNO.
1998: 0-1. Lost 7-3 to UND.
So in the last twelve years Manitoba is 3-19 being outscored 146-44. Not too impressive. On top of this, at least Iowa State's nickname is grammatically correct. Baldy should probably just keep his mouth shut. I think I see hair falling out of his head every time he says something.

Showing Baldy in the crowd was great. He seemed to be the only one watching the game and was yelling an awful lot. Though he did seem to be just yelling random words. Hit 'em! Slash 'em! GET BACK!!!!!!

Does Rick Wood have to go potty? Why is insisting on running in place? Wait a minute, is Baldy his brother? Or are they married and Baldy changed his name? Man, this gets sadder all the time.

Ricky has some interesting things to say about Mike Hellyer. The important thing about this is that Hellyer is the only player featured in this video who is still on the team. Therefore he needs to be taunted. Like why isn't he as good with the Beer Bong as Captain Cal (Calin Wild)?

Judging from the highlights of the game, I was wrong on the crowd size. There appears to only be seats on three sides of the arena and much like games at Sullivan Arena, no one is sitting in any of them. So my revised attendance guesstimate is 12.

Last but not least, Brad Eidsness' twin apparently plays for the Bisons.


Twitch Boy said...

So THAT'S where Phil Collins ended up!

Beermonger said...

First off i have to agree with dirty on this one. 2nd got to say Iowa St. is Div ACHA CLUB hockey and U Man is shit. Dirty i like how you called this blog, it was spot on correct!

Redwing77 said...

That has to be the most ridiculously stupid interviewer in the history of sports. I mean, even the notorious "Boom goes the Dynamite" guy was better!

Let's analyze. First, before he starts asking a question he takes a big sigh like this whole thing is one big downer/pain in the ass. Second, the show is called "Sports Awesome." I mean, need we say any more than that? Dear GOD!
Third, everyone absolutely needs to know who's the best drinker on the team. I can imagine how much of a field day the NCAA would have with that (not to mention the coaching staff) if Manitoba were an NCAA team. Last, he seems like he's just making it up as he goes.

Canadian Education at its "finest?"